YamiBallZ
by Shade Wolf
Summary: I hope you like the ending surprise! READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!
1. The Duels Begin

Shade: Mornin'. This is our first chapter of our story 'bout Yu-Gi-Oh. There will be more chapters, depending on what we hear 'bout it.  
  
Fade: Hello, Ohayo! Hello pplz put there. Thanks for reading this.  
  
Shade: Oh for sure. R & R pplz....  
  
Fade: Yes get some good Rest & Relaxation but make sure to read & review.  
  
Disclaimer: We do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, or anything to do with it.  
  
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*Setting: Yu-gi and his pals are still on the Deullist Kingdom.*  
  
Yugi: I'm pissed. I can't believe that stupid guard tossed my star chips.  
  
Joey: Yea, but at least you beat evil Kaiba.  
  
Tristan (drools slightly...) Uh... yea!  
  
Tea: (looks into a nearby forest) Hey! Isn't that Bakura?  
  
Yugi: Bakura? Here? Noooooooooooooo!!! Tea, I want you away from him.  
  
Tea: (looks at him) Why not?  
  
(a shot rings out.)  
  
Yugi: What th....?  
  
(Yugi is suddenly hit, and goes down)  
  
Joey: Yugi! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I didn't reveal my feelings...  
  
Tristan: (turns slowly) Who's Bakura? (drools more)  
  
Tea: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
(Yugi bounces up)  
  
Tea: Yugi!  
  
Yugi: I'm okay.  
  
Tristan: (turns suddenly to everyone) HEY! I HEARD A SHOT!  
  
(Joey slaps him one)  
  
Yugi: Who shot me?  
  
Tea: How did you survive?  
  
Yugi: (looks down...) My extreme use of gel saved me!  
  
(a rustling is heard in the forest)  
  
Yugi: (spins his head to the forest) COME OUT!!!  
  
(Weevil pops out)  
  
Joey: Hey, it's Weevil!  
  
Tristan: (looks at Yugi) Thats a lot of gel... (drools more)  
  
Weevil: I'm Amish!  
  
Yugi: We know that you Amish poofter!  
  
Weevil: Will you help me build a barn?  
  
Yugi: YU-GI-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!  
  
(Yugi is now Yami)  
  
Yami: Enough of your sniveling, you Amish wimp. It's time to duel!  
  
(the Super Mario Theme is heard. You know: bay bay bay ba bay bo.)  
  
(Bakura runs out of the forest)  
  
Bakura: Weevy! No!  
  
(Tea turns her head)  
  
Tea: Bakura?  
  
(Joey turns his head)  
  
Joey: Bakura?  
  
(Yami turns his head)  
  
Yami: WEEVY?!?  
  
(Tristan looks at Weevil)  
  
Tristan: heh heh heh... Amish poofter... heh heh heh (drools)  
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Will Tristan ever get the picture?  
Will Bakura save.... Weevy?  
Will Yami realise that he wears to many buckles (Yami: Hey, thats the fashion! ![)  
  
Find out next time (if we get good reviews) on Yami-Ball-Z! 


	2. The Amish Loser?

Shade: Hey. We didn't really care if you reveiwed us well or not, so we've written another 5 chapters of this piece a...  
dog poo. Don't complain to me if you didn't like it. Complain to my pal Fade.  
  
Fade: No complain to him. R&R if you want. If you don't :P.   
  
Disclaimer: We don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or anything to do with it.  
  
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(Setting: Weevil has just attempted to assassinate Yugi because the Amish poofter wanted him to help him build a barn.  
Bakura showed up and told Yugi not to hurt his little Weevy. But now ITS TIME TO DUEL!)  
  
Bakura: I mean... Weevil. Don't hurt Weevil.  
  
(Weevil shoots a glance at Bakura)  
  
Weevil: Look, Bakura, I just don't want to talk now.  
  
(Bakura looks sorrowfully at Weevil)  
  
Bakura: Look, I'm sorry about the barn thing...  
  
(Tea and Joey are still wide eyed at Bakura)  
  
Tea: What the hell...?  
  
Joey: (pounds his fist into his palm) Yeah, and you know what we do to people who like Weevil...  
  
(Tristan is still looking at Weevil)  
  
Tristan: heh heh heh... Amish poofter... heh heh heh...  
  
Yami: Never mind all that. IT"S TIME TO... (is cut of by Weevil)  
  
Weevil: You said that last episode you ancient eygptian, crazilly haired, too many buckles wearing (gazes in awe at Yami Yugi)  
, tight pants wearing (drools slightly) non-Amish freak.  
  
(Yami gets REALLY MAD)  
  
Yami: FOOLISH MORTAL! YOU DARE CRITICIZE ME... really? (looks down and you can see a slight smile) I think they're too   
tight...  
  
(Joey, Tea, and Tristan look at Yami Yugi)  
  
Yami: I mean... IT'S TIME TO DUEL! I play the... (looks at his hand) yes... DARK MAGICIAN! (Dark Magican has an attack power  
of 2500)  
  
Weevil: (looks at his hand) I play the Amish Loser! (Amish Loser has an attack power of 50) But it gets a field power bonus  
from this crappy cult playing field! (Amish Loser now has an attack power of 2400) ATTACK AMISH LOSER!  
  
Yami: HA! It cannot destroy my Dark Magican!  
  
Weevil: (sniggers) But I've been studing. The Amish Loser is a Holy type, which has a bonus over Dark types.  
  
(Amish Loser now has an attack of 2900)  
  
Yami: No!  
  
(Amish Loser runs over Dark Magician in a cart, and destroys it)  
  
Yami: How can this be? It's an Amish Loser!  
  
Weevil: Your move.  
  
Tristan: heh... I like tight pants... heh heh heh (drool is now all over his chin)  
  
Yami: \Hmm... If this is a crappy cult playing field then I will play.../ (Yugi sniggers) I play the Crappy Krishna! (Crappy  
Krishna has an attack power of 0)  
  
Weevil: \What is he up to...?/  
  
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What is Yami Yugi up to?  
Will Weevil get his barn built?  
And whats with all the crappy cults?  
Tune in next time for... Yami-Ball-Z! 


	3. The Cult Arises?

Shade: Number 3 pplz! Hope you like it! Remember to R&R!  
  
Fade: It's time to d... read.   
  
Disclaimer: (sigh) We don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or anything to do with it.  
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(Setting: Weevils Amish Loser has just defeated Yami Yugis Dark Magican. Yami just played the Crappy Krisna, and the life   
points are now Weevil: 2000 Yugi: 1640)  
  
Yami: Heh heh heh... I'm also playing the Equality magic card. It raises my monsters stats to your stats.  
  
(Crappy Krishna now is up to 2900 Attack)  
  
Weevil: But now niether of them can win!  
  
Yami: But this is a crappy cult playing field. My Krishna gets a field power bonus!  
  
(Crappy Krishna is now on 3400 Attack)  
  
Yami: CRAPPY KRISHNA! FLOWER POWER!  
  
(Crappy Krishna slices Amish Loser with razor sharp flower petals)  
  
Weevil: NO! MY AMISH LOSER!  
  
(Life points are now Weevil: 1999 Yugi: 1640)  
  
Yami: WHAT?!?  
  
Weeivil: heh heh heh... don't you know that when a cult is destroyed no-one cares? Thats why I only lost one life point!  
  
(Yami is furious)  
  
Weevil: Now I will play my other Amish Loser! (Amish Loser with an attack power of 2400) But even with the power bonus I can't  
destroy your Krishna. Thats why I'm playing the Cult Evolution Card! (A barn appears around the Amish Loser with a defense  
power of 4000)  
  
Yami: NO!  
  
Weevil: In 5 turns it will transform into a glorius Amish Winner!  
  
Joey: No! Not the Amish Winner!  
  
Tristan: Uh oh. Go Krishna!  
  
Weevil: Don't try attacking it Yugi. It will only hurt you.  
  
Yami: \Damn! I can't beat it... unless I combine my Crappy Krishna with my Giant Flamer.../  
  
Bakura: (looks at Weevil) Go Weevy!  
  
(Weevil looks away)  
  
Weevil: Don't embarass me Bakura...  
  
(Joey, Tea and Tristan look at Bakura)  
  
Joey & Tea: WEEVY?!?  
  
Tristan: Hey, why is my hair so pointy?  
  
(the Super Mario music plays)  
  
(Kaiba appears bouncing on moving mushrooms)  
  
Weevil: Umm... Yugi, can you turn around for a second?  
  
Yami: What? Ok... (turns around) What? What am I looking at? Is it that tree?  
  
Weevil: Umm... bend over...  
  
Yami: (bends over) Am I looking at that bug?  
  
(Bakura and Weevil and Tristan look at his butt)  
  
Weevil: \Nice butt.../  
  
Bakura: \Nice butt.../  
  
Tristan: \I like leather.../  
  
(Yami spins around and stands up)  
  
Yami: Enough of this! I play the Giant Flamer on my Krishna!  
  
(Nothing happens)  
  
Yami: Huh?  
  
Weevil: (sniggers) Don't you know that Krishnas hate weaponry? I play the Speed Card on my barn. It will only take one more  
turn for my Amish Winner to arise!  
  
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Will Yami defeat the Amish Winner?  
Will Bakura get back together with Weevil?  
And will Tristan get any leather?  
Find out next time in Yami-Ball-Z! 


	4. Yami Tristan?

Shade: 4! Number four of this load of bollocks (thats aussie for bull sh*t). Anyway...  
  
Fade: True blue aussie dinki die donkey bullcrap. (Aussie for bull shit)  
  
Shade: Correct. But it's aussie bull shit.  
  
Disclaimer: Here we go again... we do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or anything to do with it. Or Metal Gear Solid. Hell, all we own is  
the leather.  
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(Setting: Yamis attempted to put the Giant Flamer on his Crappy Krishna, but as you know, the Krishnas are against weaponry.  
Weevils attempts to evolve his Amish Loser into the Amish Winner are prevailing, and in one more turn it will arise)  
  
Yami: \Hmmm... if I play this Baby Dragon with my Time Wizard next turn, I'll get the Thousand Dragon!/  
  
(Joey looks at Yami)  
  
Joey: Look, Yugi, about that comment earlier...  
  
Yami: It's okay Joey. I don't know what you're talking about.  
  
(Moodys Point music is heard: "Doesn't matter that I could not see you, doesn't matter that I could not be you... lol)  
  
Joey: Ok.  
  
(Tristan is eating some leather, and playing with it)  
  
Tristan: Mmm... leather... (drools)  
  
Tea: (looks at Tristan) I think I better take your leather... (attempts to take the leather)  
  
Tristan: (gets mad) TRIS-TAN-OH! (Tristan is now Yami Tristan) Foolish woman. You dare take my yummy leather from me?!?  
  
Yami Yugi: (is in shock) What the hell?  
  
Yami Tristan: (eyes roll over) I summon the great power of leather summoning!  
  
(everyones leather is summoned to him; Joeys belt, Teas shoes, Yugis entire clothing apart from his undies, Bakuras undies)  
  
Yami Tristan: Yummy! (immediatly begins to eat leather, and turns into normal Tristan)  
  
Joey: My belt! (it gets chewed on)  
  
Tea: My shoes! (they get gnawed)  
  
Yugi: My clothes! (the entire suit, buckles and all are snacked)  
  
Bakura: My under... (everyone stares) Uh... Weevys the one who likes them!  
  
(everyone looks at Weevil)  
  
Weevil: Ummm... I'm Amish!  
  
Yami: Enough of this! I play the Baby Dragon! (Baby Dragon appears)  
  
Weevil: HA!!! MY AMISH LOSER IS NOW MORE POWERFUL THAN EVER! (the barn explodes, revealing a muscular Amish man riding a  
spiked cart with 4 black horses) It has an attack power of 6000, nearly as powerful as Exodia! Amish Winner, ATTACK!!!  
  
(The Amish Winner runs over the Baby Dragon with a 'splat'. Life points now Weevil: 1999 Yugi: 500)  
  
Yami: No!  
  
Joey: No!  
  
Tea: NO!  
  
Bakura: Mmm, I love it when you get mad, Weevy...  
  
Tristan: Mmm... I like shoes... (gnaws the shoes even more)  
  
Yami: Damn!  
  
(suddenly, the Super Mario music is heard, and Mokuba is seen bouncing on turtles)  
  
Joey: Don't give up, Yugi!  
  
Tea: Go Yugi!  
  
Bakura: Ooh, I wish that Amish Winner was real...  
  
Tristan: heh heh heh... splat... mmm... leather... (gnaws on leather)  
  
Yami: SHUT-UP ALL OF YOU! I combine the Revive with the Master Revive! It allows me to revive any card from any battle!  
  
Weevil: No, thats... IMPOSSIBLE!  
  
Yami: (sniggers) You think like I do, Weevil... I'm going to revive the ultimate card... THE EXILED EXODIA!  
  
Bakura: Oooo, nice move.  
  
Yami: EXODIA, OBLITERATE!  
  
(Exodia annialates the Amish Winner. Life Points are Weevil: 500 Yugi: 500)  
  
Weevil: Huh? I should have only lost one life point!  
  
Yami: (laughs) But your Amish winner was now as powerful as Christianity! Who wouldn't notice?  
  
Tristian: (looks up from leather) Hey, I love the Super Mario Bros.!   
  
Weevil: Damn! But I play this one-of-a-kind card. It's from the game Metal Gear Solid. You may have heard of it.  
  
Yami: Who is it? Ninja? Psyco Mantis? Possibly our great friend Liquid Snake?  
  
Weevil: (does an evil maniacal laugh) NO! I PLAY THE GREAT METAL GEAR REX!!! (Metal Gear Rex appears in all his metal glory)  
It's just as powerful as Exodia! Now you have nothing that can defeat me now!  
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Can Yami Yugi defeat Metal Gear Rex? (Yami-You better make me Shade ^_^)  
Will anyone figure out where that stupid Tristan got his Millenium Item? (Tristan- heh... leather... @_@)  
And will Fade ever do anything meaningful to this load of crap?  
Find out on the next episode of Yami-Ball-Z!  
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Shade: Ok, I was pulling a wild card on the Metal Gear thing (laughs). Anyway, hope you're enjoying our work, even though  
that good for nothing Fade does jack all for it... anyway, R & R pplz! 


	5. Raptor Arises

Fade: I feel that this is the start of a run streak. 2 strikes the count, 9th inning, 2 out,  
and a home run. Oops wrong show.   
  
Disclaimer: I tire of this.... We don't own Yugioh or anything to do with it. So enjoy!!  
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(Setting: Yami has just destroyed Weevils Amish Winner with Exodia)  
  
  
Yami: NO! NOT METAL GEAR REX!  
  
(everyone is stunned)  
  
Weevil: And I'm also playing this magic card.  
  
Yami: Damn!  
  
Weevil: Its called 'Boxing Gloves'. It gives Metal Gear Rex an attack bonus of 100! METAL GEAR, ATTA...  
  
(Is interrupted by a voice in the woods)  
  
Voice: Hello? Anyone here?  
  
(Rex walks out from the woods)  
  
Rex: Hi! Hi Yugi! Hi Tea! Hi Joey!  
  
Yugi, Tea and Joey: Hi!  
  
Rex: Hi Tristan!  
  
Tristan: (ignores and continues with the leather gnawing) hee hee hee... funny leather...  
  
Rex: O..........K. Hi Weevil! Hi Ba... Bakura? (looks at him in shock)  
  
Bakura: (embarrased) Umm... hi Rex...  
  
Rex: (angry) So this is visiting your mother?  
  
Bakura: Look, can we talk in private?  
  
(Weevil is in shock)  
  
Weevil: Bakura!  
  
Yami: Can we keep the duel going here? You were going to destroy Exodia?  
  
(the Bakura, Rex and Weevil conversation continues. We zoom in on the holo-field, revealing Exodia and Metal Gear chatting)  
  
Exodia: So hows the Great Moth?  
  
Metal Gear: Fine. So, want to go shopping later?  
  
Exodia: Well, actually, I was going clubbing with Blue Eyes White Dragon, but I'll see what I can do.  
  
(Zoom out to Yami Yugi)  
  
Yami: (furious) ENOUGH OF THIS! DESTROY MY (freaking) EXODIA ALREADY!!!  
  
Weevil: All right, all right, don't get your panties in a twist. Metal Gear, destory Exodia.  
  
(Metal Gear Rex gives Exodia a large upper-cut. Life points are now Weevil: 500 Yami: 400)  
  
Yami: Damn!  
  
Weevil: HAHAHA! LOOK WHO'S GOT THE BIGGEST MONSTER NOW YUGI!!!  
  
Yami: Oh yea? Well I've got a bigger girlfriend! (Tea blushes)  
  
Weevil: Oh yea? Well I have a bigger pair of glasses!  
  
Yugi: Oh yea? Well I have a bigger hair style!  
  
Weevil: Oh yea? Well I have a bigger inferiority complex! (everyone looks at him) I mean smaller... no wait... ummm...  
  
Yami: I play my Time Wizard in Defence Mode along with an Armour card known as the Electric Armour! If any Metal monster  
touches it then they will explode!  
  
Weevil: Then I will play my other Metal Gear Rex! (Shade: Change it!) I play my Great Moth! (Shade: Change it!) I play my   
Basic Insect! (Shade: Change it!) (Weevil sighs) I play my Idiotic Wanker! (Shade: Better!)  
  
Yugi: What?!?  
  
Weevil: And I combine it with my Laser Cannon! (Shade: Change it...) I add a machine gun! (Change it...) I add a spear...  
(Shade: Change it...) I add a sausage on a stick. (Shade: Perfect!)  
  
Joey: Thats horrible! It's cruel and unusual too!  
  
Yami: What will he add next? The Indestrucatable Armour?  
  
Weevil: Great minds think alike, Yugi. I add the Indestructable Armour! (Shade: Grr...) I add the Heavy Armour! (Shade:  
Snarl...) I add the Flak Jacket! (Shade: Other angry noises) I add a large cardboard box! (looks around for a voice)  
  
Tea: Yugi! Don't let him beat you!  
  
Yami: Damn! I can't beat that... that... HEY! SHADE! (Fade: Hey. Sorry, Shades beating up some fat guy. What do you need?)  
  
Joey: We're supposed to go on about how awesome this creature is, but...  
  
Bakura: It sucks!  
  
(Fade: Oh, okay... well, this chapter will end soon, so just make up something)  
  
Yami: Okay. Umm... My god! That monster is so sucky (Idiotic Wanker has an Attack of 10 and a defense of 10)  
  
Joey: Nice save Yugi!  
  
Weevil: Oh no! You thought like me!  
  
Yami: Crappy Krishna! Banksia Blast!  
  
(The Crappy Krishna throws a banksia and blows up the Idiotic Wanker)  
  
Weevil: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
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Will the Metal Gear ever be destroyed?  
Will Shade stop stuffing up this fic? (Shade: Screw you Fade)  
And what the (fudge) happened to Tristan? (Tristan: Mmm... leather... @_@) Never mind...  
Find out next time on Yami-Ball-Z! 


	6. Korean Script

Shade: During the writing of this, we had to take a leak. We put on the screen-saver password, and left. Unfortunatly, these  
two Korean bastards cracked our code and wrote a lot of our story. We beat them up of course, but the stuff they wrote was  
so hillarius we had to keep it.  
  
Fade: Yeah and boy oh boy did we show those Koreans a thing or two. So read and review pplz.  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, Metal Gear Solid or any other thing (apart from the leather)  
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(Setting: Yami has just destroyed Weevils Idiotic Wanker)  
  
Yami: Eat that Weevil!  
  
Weevil: No!  
  
Joey: Go Yugi!  
  
Tea: (still embarrased from the girlfriend comment) hee hee hee... go Yugi... (smiles)  
  
Yami: Your move, Weevil.  
  
Weevil: Heh heh heh...  
  
Yami: What's so funny?  
  
Weevil: You fell right into my trap card!  
  
Yami: But...  
  
Weevil: It poisons all your cards! (Yugis Krishna and his Time Wizard lose 100 attack points)  
  
Yami: Well that stinks.  
  
Weevil: And it gets better! You see I also  
  
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This is when those 2 Koreans wrote their version of the story.  
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Weevil: (continued) make a SUPER HAPPY DISCO DANCE!!!  
  
(everyone starts dancing, including a bear, a nurse and a guy in an American hat)  
  
Yami: Go low Tea!  
  
(Tea goes under a limbo stick)  
  
Weevil: Supa Amish splits! (he does the splits)  
  
(a knock is heard at the door)  
  
Bakura: Oh no it is the police wanting to stop our dancing!  
  
(the door flys open, and many policemen in riot gear rush in)  
  
Nurse: Lets run to the cars!  
  
(they all go out the back doors to the cars)  
  
Yami: We need a car, Joey!  
  
Joey: Theres a blue one!  
  
Yami: Supa cool!  
  
(they run to the car)  
  
Yami: Quick in here! (they get into the back seats)  
  
Joey: Who is driving?  
  
(they look into the front of the car, and see the bear)  
  
Yami: Oh no! The bear is driving! How can this be?  
  
(all the cars drive down a street)  
  
(flip to Korean males in chains writing scripts)  
  
Korean 1: We are poor Korean students. We are slaves to the evil mouse monster...  
  
(evil mouse whips him. Zoom back to cars braking outside the building)  
  
Yugi: Yami is gone! Where can he be?  
  
Joey: Quick! Into building!  
  
(everyone gets out of the cars and burst through the doors of slave-room)  
  
Evil Giant Mouse Monster: You cannot hurt me!  
  
Yugi and Joey: GIANT FLYING KICK! (they fly through the air and kick the Evil Giant Mouse Monster, but bounce off)  
  
Yugi: Oh no, he is too strong for our giant flying kick!  
  
(Flip to Bakura and Weevil looking up the Nurses dress)  
  
(Flip back to Tea, Tristan and Yugi talking)  
  
Tristan: Only a kick from high up in the rafters will hurt him, taking into wind speed and the velocity of the weight of the  
kicker  
  
Tea: He is to strong for even you Yugi!  
  
Yugi: But not for Yami Yugi! Where can he be?  
  
(up in the rafters you can see Yami Yugi pointing at the Evil Giant Mouse Monster)  
  
Tea: YAMI!!!  
  
(Evil Giant Mouse Monster looks at Yami Yugi)  
  
Yami Yugi: You cannot beat me it's time to duel!(jumps down in a giant flying kick)  
  
Evil Giant Mouse Monster: Bwha-ha-ha-ha!  
  
(Yami Yugi hits his nose)  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
This is when we came back and beat the sh*t out of them. Hope you liked it!  
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(everyone is on the ground and waking up)  
  
Yami: What a crazy dream...  
  
Weevil: Ooog... your cards are doomed!  
  
Yami: I can't win... the only one who can help me now is...  
  
(Solid Snake appears)  
  
Snake: You need me kid?  
  
Everyone: SOLID SNAKE???  
  
Snake: Damn! Why is everyone so suprised to see me?  
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Will Tea go out with Yugi? (Tea: I can't believe that Bakura's gay... ;_;)  
Will anyone figure out why Solid Snake appears? (Snake: Damn!)  
And will those Koreans ever take over our story again? (Korean 1: You bet on it! Shade: Get back here *punches are heard*)  
Find on the next episode of Yami-Ball-Z! 


	7. Snake Helps

Shade: For the next couple (Or ten) episodes, we're gonna try and fit in celebrity anime stars in every episode. We have  
Genki from Monster Rancher this episode, but send in YOUR ideas to the reveiw thing. We check it every day so send in YOUR  
anime characters (by the way, if they're orginal ones then tell us the fic they're in so we can read it and decide how to put  
them in.).  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or anything to do with it. We also don't own Metal Gear Solid or Monster Rancher.  
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(Setting: Solid Snake has just appeared)  
  
Snake: Anyway, hows the duel going?  
  
Yami: (shocked) Wha... what the hell?  
  
Snake: I take it you need to destroy that Metal Gear Rex, huh? Well, I have an idea.  
  
Joey: (to Weevil) You suck, you Amish wanker!  
  
Bakura: (to Joey) Like, whatever. Don't listen to him Weevy!  
  
Weevil: (looks away) Leave me alone Bakura...  
  
Rex: C'mon Bakura. He doesn't love you like I do anymore. Lets go.  
  
Snake: HEY! THIS IS A G RATED FIC! NO GAY STUFF!  
  
(Snake looks at Yugi)  
  
Snake: Anyway Yug', only I can hurt Metal Gear Rex. Which is why I'm helping you out.  
  
Yami: I don't need help.  
  
Snake: Against that thing? (nods his head towards Metal Gear) I think you need my personal card.  
  
Yami: You have a deck?  
  
Snake: Nah, just 3 cards. I want you to have 'em!  
  
Yami: What are they?  
  
Tristan: Hee hee hee... gay... hee hee hee...  
  
Snake: (flips three cards out) I've got the Stinger Missile Launcher (shows a card with a Stinger), a FAMAS (shows a card  
with an FAMAS) and my card (shows one with a picture of him on it). My one has an attack power of 1000 and a defense of 1000.  
  
Yami: But that can't help! Metal Gears now even more powerful then Exodia!  
  
Snake: But, I have a special rule.  
  
Yami: How so?  
  
Snake: No matter how impossibe the odds, I will always beat Metal Gear!  
  
Yami: I'll beat him!  
  
Weevil: Not so, little Yugi! You have to shuffle your deck after you put your new cards in!  
  
(Yami Yugi shuffles his deck, putting in the new 3 cards)  
  
Weevil: Anyway, it's my move. I think I'll just put my Basic Insect in defence. And I'll combine it with a Lv. 2 shield drone.  
It now has a defence value of 2000!  
  
(A voice is heard from far off)  
  
Voice: Suezo! Suezo, where are you?  
?  
Snake: What anime do I recognize him from...  
  
Voice: (getting closer) Hey! Tiger!  
  
Joey: Not that brat...  
  
(we can just see the distant persons backwards cap and black hair)  
  
Voice: Hey! Where is Golem?  
  
Tea: Aww, I think he's cute... in a geekish sort of way...  
  
(Now we can see that it is Genki, the Monster Rancher)  
  
Tristan: Hey! Where IS Suezo?  
  
Genki: HEY, COOL! WHATCHA DOING?  
  
Joey: Go away Genki.  
  
Genki: (ignores Joey and talks to Tea) One time, I had to fight a monster named Moo!  
  
Tea: Thats great for you...  
  
Genki: And he was really strong!  
  
Snake: (whispering to Yami) Want me to snap his neck? I can do it like (snaps his fingers) that!  
  
Yami: (whispering back) No... not yet. Just kick his nuts off...  
  
Snake: (smileing) Wonderful... (touches his Stealth Suit button and disappears)  
  
Yami: Back to duelling... TIME WIZARD! TIME MAGIC! (Time Wizard raises his time staff and time warps)  
  
Weevil: (after time magic) Hey! Metal Gear hasn't changed at all!  
  
Yami: But look at my Krishna! (the Crappy Krishna now has huge muscles, wears an orange tank top, orange traksuit pants and  
has a large bazooka on his back) He is now the Nature Warrior supreme! And I'm combining him witth the Super Duper Sumo card!  
It increases his defence by 500 points! (Nature Warrior now gets a lot fatter) And I'm also adding the FAMAS card to him!  
  
Weevil: (laughs his ass off) BUT... KRISHNAS HATE WEAPONRY! HAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Yami: (snickers) Yes, thats what you think. But Nature Warrior can edit weaponry to be nature weaponry!  
  
(The Nature Warrior starts doing stuff to the FAMAS)  
  
Yami: It turns it to... A RAPID FIRE RAZOR LEAF GUN!!! NATURE WARRIOR, DESTROY THE BASIC INSEcT!!!  
  
(Nature Warrior fires the Leaf Gun at the Basic Insect. Razor-sharp leaves tear through the shield and cut it to shreds)  
  
Weevil: No! Not my buggy-wuggy!  
  
Genki: Wow! I once had to fight a mean Rabbit!  
  
Snake: (from nowhere) Get ready for pain, kid... (starts to run)  
  
Genki: And it was REALLLY... (gets kicked in the nuts) ooo... (in a heavy Scottish acent) ACH! ME PLUMS! (runs off holding  
his nuts)  
  
Weevil: No! How can this be? I play my Gay Nerd in defence mode! (he appears in the Holo-Field) Oh, ha ha. Very funny Shade!!!  
  
(Gay Nerd has an Attack of 4000 and a defence of 4000)  
  
Weevil: Hey! I'm pretty f*cking strong!  
  
Yami: How is he so strong? SHADE!!! (Shade: Yes, Yami?) Why is it so strong? (Shade: 'Cause he's so freakin' annoying!)  
  
Weevil: You can't win, little Yugi!  
  
Yami: I have to draw 3 cards now, you gay bastard! (draws 3 cards) mmm... YES! YOU WILL LOSE NOW WEEVIL!!!  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
What cards has Yugi seen?  
Why is Tristan so dumb?  
And who will be the next celebrity anime star? (Sailor Moon: Vote for me!)  
Find out next time on Yami-Ball-Z!!! 


	8. The Coffee Break

Shade: Sorry about the delay on posting the chapters, but... Fade is in hospital with leukemia. Yep. So this one is dedicated  
to you, my friend. But on to a lighter note, we got the most votes for: a) various DBZ characters b) A rabid Pikachu   
thirsting for Amish blood and c) a six-pack of muffins, supplied by the Muffin Wanderer. So lets get on with the show!  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, Dragonball Z or Pokemon. The muffins are courtesy of The Muffin Wanderer. But the leather  
is all ours!  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Weevil: \What could he have seen.../ Don't try to bluff me, little Yugi! I'm just 400 points from beating you!  
  
Yami: I doubt you'll beat me now, you Amish poof! I play the SOLID SNAKE card, with an attack and defense of 1000! And I  
combine it with the Stinger Missle card! It raises his attack by 2000!  
  
Weevil: HA! My Gay nerd can kill that like a watermelon!  
  
Tea, Tristan, Rex, Bakura and Joey: A watermelon?!?  
  
Weevil: Shutup.  
  
Yami: But now I'm adding the greatest card of them all... THE BASTARD WON'T DIE card! My Solid Snake won't die. Your move.  
  
Weevil: Damn! There must be a way around it! (Weevils watch beeps) COFFEE BREAK!  
  
(Yami and Weevil get down from their perches over the board, and gather with everyone else)  
  
Tea: Damn! Yami, you better win this duel fast! We've got to get to that magic show which you're doing!  
  
Yami: Yeah, I know. (talking to Tristan) Hey! Tristan, what soups have we got?  
  
Tristan: We've got the pee soup.  
  
Yami: Pea soup? Sounds good. Give it! (Tristan passes the soup to Yami) Mmm. It smells oddly familiar... (takes a sip) And it  
tastes odd... whats in it?  
  
Tristan: Well lets just say I made it myself... (Yami spits it out)  
  
(Yugi comes walking up)  
  
Yugi: Hey Yami! Hey Tea!  
  
Tea: (blushing) Hi Yugi...  
  
Yugi: (to Yami) Whats with Tea?  
  
Yami: I said that we were her boyfriend.  
  
Yugi: Oh. (gives Tea a smile)  
  
(flip to Weevil, Rex and Bakura talking)  
  
Bakura: Look, Weevy, I don't want to be with you anymore.  
!  
Rex: Yea! The guy wants to be with me, pussy!  
  
Weevil: I don't know what to say but... (a rabid Pikachu leaps out from a nearby tree and grabs onto Weevils head) What  
the...  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
I'm afraid the bit is to gory for our G rating. So we fast-forwarded a while.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(The rabid Pikachu runs off, covered in blood. Bakura is weeping over the mangled corpse of what appears to be Weevy)  
  
Bakura: No... (weeps) why now? (crys)  
  
Rex: How was he to know that this area is full of rabid Pikachus thristing for Amish blood?  
  
Tea: (crys) I can't believe it... (suddenly everyone is normal) Oh well. Looks like we can each have a muffin from this pack  
of six ones.  
  
Yugi: Delish.  
  
(Mai appears)  
  
Mai: Hi boys. Hi Joey... can we talk?  
  
Joey: No way! I ain't giving up this muffin!  
  
(Mai walks seductivly over to Joey)  
  
Mai: Not about that. I mean (strokes his groin) this...  
  
Joey: Oh... (finishes the muffin) Ok. See ya Yug'!  
  
(They walk off)  
  
Yami: O...............k.  
  
Tea: Lets go! I need to practice some magic tricks.  
  
(They all start walking off)  
  
Yugi: Lets see... (pulls out a wand) ALAKAZAM! (the wand turns into a bunch of flowers) Yep, I'm ready!  
  
Tristan: Want to see my trick (drools)?  
  
Rex: Sure! Show us!  
  
Tristan: Yay! TRIS-TAN-OH!!! (Tristan turns into Yami Tristan)  
  
Tea: Wow!  
  
Yami Tristan: (eyes roll over) I summon the great power of leather summoning!  
  
(Everyones leather flys to him. Rexs jacket, Yugis full suit, Teas second pair of shoes, Bakuras Dominatrix outfit)  
  
Yami Tristan: (turns back to normal Tristan) Yummy! (starts eating)  
  
Rex: My jacket! (it's gnawed)  
  
Yugi: My full suit! (it's munched)  
  
Tea: My second pair of shoes! (they're snacked)  
  
Bakura: My Dominatri... (everyone stares) Umm... Rex is the one who enjoys it!  
  
(everyone stares at Rex)  
  
Rex: Er... I'm Amish! (a horde of rabid Pikachus thirsting for Amish blood jump out of the trees) I WAS KIDDING! (The   
Pikachus all turn away in mid air and get back into the trees)  
  
Yami: O...............k.  
  
(They continue walking until they get to a stage, with the entire DBZ cast in the audience)  
  
Goku: When are we going to see the show?  
  
Cell: I don't know. Anyone want some snacks? (everyone gets a snack apart from Veggeta)  
  
Veggeta: You provided insufficent snacks. I will destroy you.  
  
Cell: So? At least I didn't lose against Majin Bu!  
  
(The party of Yami Yugi, Yugi, Tea, Tristan, Rex and Bakura get on the stage)  
  
Yugi: Ok people. We're here to show you some magic tricks.  
  
(Goku stands up)  
  
Goku: Tricks? Can you throw balls? Energy balls? Can your balls grow to the size of a house? Can yor balls destroy an evil  
alien transvestite named Freeza? Do your balls came in various colours?  
  
Majin Bu: Bu!  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Will the team impress the DBZ characters?  
Will Goku shutup?  
And will the rabid Pikachus thirsting for Amish blood make a second appearance?  
Find out next time on Yami-Ball-Z!  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Shade: Continue sending your ideas in! 


	9. The Koreans Strike Back

Shade: This is episode 9! My god! We did it! Fade is still in hospital with lukemia. But we got the Korean dudes back for a  
sequel to their oddness!  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or Dragonball Z or the leather anymore. It got repossesed by the government.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Yami: SHUT THE *beep* UP GOKU!  
  
Goku: Ka me ha me...  
  
Yugi: HIT THE DECK!  
  
(everyone jumps onto the ground)  
  
Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!  
  
(the Kamehameha flys overhead)  
  
Yugi: THATS IT! I'M LEAVING!  
  
Tea: The what?  
  
Yugi: I am sick and tired of the psycho parody of our show! I am leaving and never coming back!  
  
(A voice rumbles from overhead)  
  
Shade: Umm... no. You got a signed contract with a guaranteed 3 episodes of the piece a *beep*.  
  
Yugi: Huh. Well, just remember what I said to you at the interview for this.  
  
Shade: Oh yeah...  
  
(fades to dream sequence)  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
This is when I let the Korean people from episode 6 run wild.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Shade: I am a poo.  
  
Yugi: I want this job so I can SUPA DISCO DANCE!  
  
(disco ball lowers down from roof and everyone is there, including nurse, bear who drives [how can this be?] and the guy in  
USA hat)  
  
Tea: Go low Yugi!  
  
(Yugi goes under a flaming limbo stick)  
  
Yugi: I burnt my belly!  
  
Joey: I want part of Yugi!  
  
Shade: Then dance!  
  
Joey: Lets go!  
  
(everyone is dancing)  
  
Yugi: I say! Yami likes maths debating!  
  
Tea: He likes maths deb... oh! Haha!  
  
Yami: Wah! (he runs out)  
  
(flip to Bakura and Weevil looking up nurses dress)  
  
(flip back to Tea and Yugi doing a sexy disco dance)  
  
Tea: Yugi, I love you.  
  
Yugi: My love belongs to another...  
  
Tea: NO! Who...?  
  
Yugi: This guy!  
  
(Grampa appears)  
  
Grampa: I love you Yugi! (they kiss)  
  
(door starts banging)  
  
Korean dude: Oh no! It is Shade and Fade wanting to ruin our fun with their story full of poo!  
  
(door bursts open, revealing two dudes carrying katanas)  
  
Shade: You will die from my katana which goes vhwing!  
  
Fade: Make love to me cool korean dude who should take over this story permanently from the stupid Fade and Shade!  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
That's enough out of them.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Shade: Oh yeah... wait a minute, what did you say?  
  
Yugi: That I'm less commited than a hollywood marriage to this crap story.  
  
Shade: Oh. Thats rather funny... hee hee hee...  
  
(everyone starts laughing)  
  
Tea: less commited... hahaha!!!  
  
Bakura: Hollywood marriage... bwahaha!  
  
Tristan: HAHAHA! LEATHER! HAHAHA! Mmm... leather (gnaws Teas shoes)  
  
Veggeta: That was non-humourus. I will destroy you.  
  
Tristan: TRIS-TAN-OH! (Tristan is now Yami Tristan)  
  
Veggeta: Final...  
  
Yami Tristan: Final...  
  
Veggeta: Flash!  
  
(The Final Flash starts going)  
  
Yami Tristan: Leather!  
  
(The Final Leather flys forward. It is lots of leather items compressed together into a beam)  
  
Yugi: THATS IT! STOP THIS NOW! I AM GONE!  
  
Tea: No! Yugi!  
  
Yugi: I'm sorry Tea. But I must leave this show now.  
  
Tea: I love you...  
  
Yugi: I know, but... there is something I must tell you.  
  
Tea: What is it?  
  
Yugi: I need to tell you that...  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Will Veggeta beat Yami Tristan?  
Will we find out what Yugi has to say?  
And will those korean bastards make their third appearance? (Korean dude: You betcha!)  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Shade: I love this! Continue the reveiws! Send in ideas for celebrity anime characters! Send condolences to Fade, the cancer  
stricken dude! 


	10. This Is Getting More Insane

Shade: Hey. Fade still in hospital. Lavender Clearwater, I gave those teddy bears to him. I think he thanks you, even. Be  
thankful. He hardly ever thanks anyone. But I am writing on without him, but whats the difference (God, is he gonna attack me  
when he gets out)? Anyway, I have put in some people in from Final Fantasy 7, even though we have only got up to when Cloud  
tells his life story.  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own Yugioh, Card Captors, Dragon Ball Z or Final Fantasy 7. But we are petioning to get the leather   
back.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Last time on Yami-Ball-Z...  
Yami Tristan and Veggetta had a duel with their energy, but who was winning?  
Yugi was about to tell Tea something important, but what is it?  
Also, Li Syaoran, Sakura AND Madison declared their love for each other!  
What will happen now?  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Yugi: I need to tell you that... I think I love you.  
  
Tea: Really...?  
  
Yugi: Yes. But it's me or this stupid story...  
  
Tea: But, I love you more!  
  
Yugi: Then come. Come with me to the dark side of the force.  
  
(Joey flys out of a bush nearby, wearing nothing but his undies)  
  
Joey: Argh!  
  
(He hits the ground hard, and his clothes fly out of the bush too)  
  
Joey: Umm... hi.  
  
(everyone is staring at him)  
  
Joey: Don't mind me... (he rolls onto his back)  
  
Bulma: Is that a rocket in your boxers or are you just really horny?  
  
Yugi: HEY! LOOK AT ME! I'm leaving!  
  
Joey: (shoving his pants on) I'm looking Yug'!  
  
(Mai walks out of the bushes)  
  
Mai: (looks at Joey) Huh!  
  
Joey: Mai! Don't leave! I'll get the money!  
  
Mai: No way. You're either a champ or a chump.  
  
Joey: Please Mai! I love you!  
  
(Kaiba and Silent Mokuba walk in)  
  
Kaiba: Yeah, wassup?  
  
Cell: Who are these losers?  
  
Kaiba: I'm the one and only Kaiba, multi-millionare, owner of a company to rival Microsoft, plus I am the best gangsta rappa  
in these parts. And this is my side-kick, Silent Mokuba.  
  
Silent Mokuba: (nods his head up)  
  
Kaiba: Damn Silent Mokuba, you one rude mother (fudger), but you're cute as hell.  
  
Yugi: ME AND TEA ARE LEAVING!  
  
Kaiba: Good for you, my brother.  
  
Yugi: GOODBYE!  
  
Goten: Bye.  
  
Yugi: LOOK AT ME!!!  
  
(all of a sudden Cloud, Tifa and Aeris walk in)  
  
(Shade: Oh good, you came!)  
  
Cloud: Yeah, I'm auditioning for the part of Yugi, whoever that is.  
  
Tifa: I'm here to audition for Tea.  
  
Aeris: I'm here to try out for Yugis new love interest.  
  
(Shade: Great! Just wait in the reception and I'll call you in!)  
  
Cloud: Ok! Come on girls!  
  
(Yugi and Tea jaws have dropped)  
  
Yugi: Who are they?  
  
(Shade: They're your replacements, Cloud, Tifa and Aeris from Final Fantasy 7)  
  
Yugi: But we haven't left yet!  
  
(Shade: Look, you're leaving, right?)  
  
Yugi: Yeah... but-  
  
(Shade: Yes, you are leaving, so they are replacing you)  
  
Tea: Can I say something?  
  
(Shade: Yes, yes you may.)  
  
Tea: Those are the BIGGEST jugs I've seen since Pamela Anderson!!!  
  
Kaiba: Mmm hmm.  
  
Veggetta: I wouldn't mind some of that. (lets his Final Flash down for 1 second, allowin Yami Tristans Final Leather to  
destroy him)  
  
Trunks: God yeah.  
  
Cell: I am an alien, and yet I am attracted to her.  
  
Bulma: I...  
  
Yugi: THATS SICK SHADE!  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Will Yugi and Tea leave now?  
Will Cloud, Tifa and Aeris get the parts?  
And will Shade get any sicker?  
Find out next time on Yami-Ball-Z!  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Shade: I JUST GOT A PHONE CALL! FADES COMING OUT OF HOSPITAL NEXT WEEK! TUNES FOR THE MOTHER (fudging) DUDE!  
Heh. Keep sending in ideas and celebrity anime characters! Read and reveiw palease! 


	11. Clouds First Day

Shade: Yep, Fade is coming out of hospital in 6 days. This causes for celebration! In this episode, its mainly about Cloud,  
Tifa and Aeris continuing Yami-Ball-Z, while Yugi and Tea watch.  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own Yugioh, Dragonball Z or FF7. The leather is now in my belonging again, along with $20 I got from the  
government.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Cloud: So... whats my line?  
  
Shade: You're supposed to say "It's time to duel!'  
  
Tifa: And me?  
  
Shade: You just look at him lovingly.  
  
Tifa: Yeah, I know. But what do I do in this scene?  
  
Shade: You... never mind.  
  
(Zoom out to Kaiba, Joey, Red XIII and some DBZ guys chatting)  
  
Joey: ... you see those big-  
  
Kaiba: Word! (takes a puff of a joint) Mmm... want some?  
  
Goku: You know, I was thinking of asking her out.  
  
Red XIII: With my Sense Materia, I become psycic. And you don't have a chance in hell.  
  
Kaiba: Sick. Tell me somethin' 'bout me.  
  
Red XIII: You masturbate more than anyone else on the planet.  
  
Kaiba: Everyone knows that dude. Tell me somethin' NO ONE knows!  
  
Red XIII: When you do it, you think of guys. (he walks off)  
  
(everyone is staring at Kaiba)  
  
Kaiba: Not all the time!  
  
(Zoom into Cloud doing his line)  
  
Cloud:(holding Duel Monsters cards) Its time to deal!  
  
Tifa: Oh Yugi!  
  
Shade: CUT! That wasn't the right line!  
  
Yugi: HA! You can't cut it as me!  
  
Cloud: Shutup Yugi!  
  
Shade: Its 'duel', not 'deal'!  
  
Tifa: Oh Cloud!  
  
Shade: And you don't talk Tifa!  
  
Tifa: *sniff* Ok...  
  
Shade: *sigh* I'm sorry Tifa. Come here for a hug.  
  
(Tifa walks over and hugs Shade. He gives the thumbs up to Kaiba and the gang and winks)  
  
Tifa: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stuff up... I'm so sorry *sniff*...  
  
Shade: Its ok. Just try again.  
  
Tifa: (letting go) Ok... I'll try harder.  
  
Tea: Oh please. Shes just trying to be the authors pet.  
  
Tifa: Am not!  
  
Tea: Are to!  
  
Tifa: Am not!  
  
Tea: Are to!  
  
(Aeris walks up and rubs Tifas shoulders)  
  
Aeris: Calm down. Here, have a flower! (gives everyone a flower)  
  
Bakura: (walks up to Cloud) Hey big boy.  
  
Cloud: Umm... hi.  
  
Rex: Hey! What are you doin' with my man!  
  
Cloud: Nothing, I...  
  
(Joey and Tristan walk up, cracking their knuckles)  
  
Joey: Yeah, and you know what we do to people who cheat on their girl- I mean boyfriends.  
  
Tristan: (drooling and chewing some dry leather) Yummy... hey, are we beating the tobbaco juice outta someone?!?  
  
(an alarm rings, and Shade runs up)  
  
Shade: (panting) Did Tristan just say an intelligent sentence? My god!  
  
(Zoom to Kaiba, Silent Mokuba and Mai chatting)  
  
Kaiba: So you'll sleep with me and Silent Mokuba just to live in my house.  
  
Mai: Umm... yes. (to herself) Why am I doing this?  
  
Kaiba: (to Mai and Silent Mokuba) Look, I wanna go first, I don't like no sloppy seconds. That ok, my brother? (Silent Mokuba  
nods)  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Will Cloud get his line right?  
Will Mai actually sleep with Kaiba? (Mai: Oh god...)  
And will Shade get to hug Tifa again? (Shade: Hell yeah!)  
Find out next time on Yami-Ball-Z!  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Shade: Well, thats over. Hope you liked the story! By the way, I have NEVER watched Gundam Wing in my life. They just started  
Blue Submarine No.6 over here, so I might add Haiyami to an episode...  
Send in ideas for our new series coming soon- Yami-Ball-GT!  
Also send more ideas for Yami-Ball-Z! 


	12. Shade Gets REALLY Desprate Shade: FADE!

Shade: Fade out in 5 days. By the way, Mrs Future Valentine, I put Vincent in even tho' I don't know who the frigg he is  
'cause I'm only on disc 1 of Final Fantasy 7 on PlayStation! HAPPY?!? YOU COULD AT LEAST GIVE ME A FRIGGIN' PROFILE OF THIS  
MAN! I DON"T KNOW WHO HE IS! WHY DON"T YOU GO WEDGE YOUR STUPID 'VINCY' UP YA FRIGGIN' AS- (gets hit by censor) FU- (gets hit  
again) WHAT THE SH- (gets hit yet again) Grr... ok, heres Chapter 12...  
By the way, Fade wrote some stuff in when I brought the laptop to the hospital...  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh, Dragon Ball Z, Blue Submarine No.6, Card Captors, or FF7...  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Cloud: So, my line is 'Its time to dul'?  
  
Shade: NO! DUEL! DUEL!  
  
(Yugi laughs)  
  
Yugi: Give it up!  
  
Cloud: (pulls out his big ol' sword) You callin' me out, punk?  
  
Vincent: Hi, my names Joe.  
I got a wife and three kids  
And I work in the button factory.  
One day my boss walked up and said  
"Joe, are you busy?"  
I said no  
And he showed me how to push a button like so  
"Can you do it?"  
I said no  
And I didn't push the button like so  
  
Shade: The (fudge) let him in?  
  
Red XIII: He's here by popular demand by some future valentine chick.  
  
Shade: How you know that?  
  
Red XIII: His shirt.  
  
(Vincents shirt reads," Hi, I'm here by popular demand by some future valentine chick.")  
  
Kaiba: Dude.  
  
(Haiyami runs in with Kori)  
  
Haiyami: People! Zoanthorpes about to invade Yellow Base! Get in Blue 6 with Kori here! I'll hold 'em off!  
  
(Fade: I have never seen Blue Submarine No. 6, so don't accuse me of doing it badly)  
  
Shade: Get out of here!  
  
Kori: Ok... c'mon Haiyami...  
  
(Tifa runs up to Shade and hugs him)  
  
Tifa: Oh Shade, you're so brave!  
  
(Fade: Man, you're desprate.)  
  
(Shade: Frigg off.)  
  
Cloud: Tifa! No! No! No! (shrugs his shoulders) Oh well. Aeris, you're my girlfriend now.  
  
Aeris: Yes! In your face Tifa!  
  
(Fade: You realise this is all meaningless drivel?)  
  
(Shade: I said frigg off! [throws a bottle at Fade])  
  
Cloud: Can I try my line?  
  
Yugi: Again?  
  
Cloud: (pulls out his sword again) You still callin' me?  
  
Yugi: (pulls out Sepiroths sword) You shouldn't play with pocket knives...  
  
(They start dueling)  
  
Yugi: Yah!  
  
(Cloud gets a slash on the arm)  
  
Cloud: Argh! RESTORE MATERIA! CURE! (his wound disappears)  
  
Yugi: Grr...  
  
(Li Syaoran appears)  
  
Li: Try my sword. Its magic. In fact, borrow all of the Clow cards, except for the Big Card. (Read Episode 10 for joke)  
  
(Li gives Yugi the Clow cards and his sword)  
  
Yugi: Thanxs!  
  
(Li jumps away)  
  
Cloud: No we're even...  
  
Yugi: POWER CARD! (Power comes out and gives Yugi enormus power)  
  
Cloud: LIGHTNING MATERIA! BOLT! (A bolt of lightning starts coming down from the sky)  
  
Yugi: SHIELD CARD! (A protective shield goes around Yugi. Power dissipates)  
  
Cloud: Damn!  
  
(Solid Snake: You stealin' my line?)  
  
Yugi: Force know my plight... RELEASE THE LIGHT! LIGHTNING! (Lightning zaps Cloud)  
  
Cloud: Argh No.2!  
  
Shade: Quit it!  
  
(flip to Kaibas bedroom. He is naked under the sheets. Mai is next to him. Naked. Under the sheets)  
  
Kaiba: Whoa. (takes a puff of his joint) Did you know that when a chick is done up the butt she farts?  
  
Mai: My god... Why did I do this?  
  
(Silent Mokuba comes up from under the sheets next to Mai smileing)  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Will Mai have to fart again? (Mai: Oh god oh god...)  
Will Yugi defeat Cloud?  
And will Shade get more desprate than writing that Tifa loves him and thinks he is so brave and talented which just proves  
that shes actually blonde and shes just dyed her hair (No offense given to blondes who read this shite)?  
(Shade: FADE! DID YOU RE-WRITE THE JOKE QUESTION?)  
(Fade: Umm... no...)  
(Shade: Oh, if you didn't have lukemia...)  
Find out next time on Fadee (Shade: FADE!) I mean YAMI-BALL-Z!  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   
Shade: Keep sending in ideas for Yami-Ball-GT and our longest running series so far Yami-Ball-Z! I'm gonna do an extra long  
15th anniversery episode for episode 15, so send in TONS of ideas for that, kay?  
I hope you're happy now Mrs Future Valentine...  
  
Fade: Shade 'n' Fade, No.1 in the hoods ya'll... 


	13. Its Time To Deal! Yugi: GET THE LINE RIG...

Shade: No.13! OMG! BTW, if you have been reading Yami-Ball-GT, like all good fans should (wink wink nudge nudge) then you  
should know that something happened between Yugi (not Yami) and Mai. It may be revealed in... THE 15TH EPISODE EXTRAVAGANZA!  
Still need ideas for that. Note that I may have been goin' a bit lime (without foreplay) lately. Don't blame me. It was my  
exictment for... THE 15TH EPISODE EXTRAVAGANZA!!! WHEEEEEE!!! Hee hee hee...  
  
Fade: I'm not back yet. Just typed this in in the last few minutes of the visitors time at the hospital. Trust me. The 15th  
episode is gonna be big if Shade has anything to do with it. I appear in this episode, but... you'll find out why...  
  
Disclaimer: I- (Fade: WE!) (Shade: Uh... no.) I don't own Yugioh, FF7 or Dragonball Z. If you were wondering (which I doubt)  
the leather is somewhere in Pakistan.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Cloud: Hey! Shade! You stealing my girl?  
  
Shade: (nudges Tifa away) I thought Aeris was your girl now...  
  
Cloud: Nah. She means nothing to me...  
  
Aeris: WAH! (runs off crying)  
  
Shade: Fine. You get Tifa. I'll get Aeris.  
  
Aeris: Yay! (runs over to Shade)  
  
Cloud: But I want Aeris too!  
  
Shade: Then you must fight...  
  
(Fade appears beside Shade)  
  
Cloud: (pulls out his sword) Choose your weapons.  
  
Fade: Shade! Lets merge!  
  
(Bright light appears around Shade and Fade. When it disappears, a man around their height is there, holding a katana, with  
grey hair and black bangs)  
  
Cloud: Who... who are you?  
  
Man: I am Fade Wolfius. I have my katana. It is my weapon.  
  
Cloud: Then it's time to deel!  
  
Yugi: GET YOUR LINE RIGHT POOF!  
  
Cloud: You want to join this, punk?  
  
Fade Wolfius: YUGI! NO! I will fight him myself.  
  
Cloud: Lets go. FIRE MATERIA! FIRE! (Scorching hot fire flys towards Fade Wolfius. But Fade Wolfius disappears)  
  
Cloud: Huh?  
  
Fade Wolfius: (from behind Cloud) Try Sense next time. Ka-shade-ha-fade...  
  
Cloud: (spins around) No!  
  
Fade Wolfius: ... HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!  
(a bright blue wolf of energy flys out of Fade Wolfius' hands. Cloud is engulfed by the blue, along with Fade Wolfius)  
  
Aeris: Cloud! No, Shade! No... umm...  
  
Tifa: (in valley girl voice) Like, whatever! (sees Yami Yugi) Hey...  
  
Chi Chi: NO! FADE! I never got to express my true feelings...  
  
(Fade: SHADE!)  
  
(Shade: Got ya back, bitch.)  
  
Joey: Oh, shite.  
  
(The blue dissapates. Fade Wolfius is seen standing there with Cloud on the ground.)  
  
Tifa: Oh. My guy is still alive. (turns to look at Yami Yugi) Shame.  
  
Yami: Damn! I nearly had Tifa!  
  
Aeris: (walks over to Yami Yugi) You can have me.  
  
Yami: Umm... don't you die or something?  
  
Aeris: (tears gushing) Why are you so hurtful? (runs away)  
  
Yami: Heh. I made the girl cry. (starts reading script for Yami-Ball-GT)  
  
Cloud: (weak voice) How... how did you do that?  
  
Fade Wolfius: Don't be sad. This result is natural. (Thanks to Blue Submarine No.6 for Zorndykes great line!)  
  
Cloud: I demand a proper fight! (rises off ground) Tristan, Joey and Yugi, not you and your... magic. I will choose a team  
which I fight for.  
  
(Fade Wolfius spilts back to Shade 'n' Fade)  
  
Shade: Fine. Should it happen in the... 15TH EPISODE EXTRAVAGANZA?!?  
  
Cloud: Did you sniff VitaFresh?  
  
Shade: No... but thanks for the idea! (sniffs some) WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Hee hee hee... hoo hoo hoo... HAHAHAHAHA! (laughs  
so hard he crys)  
  
Fade: Oh god. We are in for some insanity now.  
  
Cloud: Oh shit.  
  
Shade: Lets watch something fun... like Nadescio! Fun!  
  
Fade: No.  
  
Cloud: Umm... no. Lets deul.  
  
Yugi: WILL YOU GET THE FRIGGIN' LINE RIGHT!  
  
Tifa: Oh Cloud, you're so cool.  
  
Yami: (looks up from Yami-Ball-GT script) HEY! WHY AM I GAY?!?  
  
Shade: Umm... it was the idea of Fade.  
  
Fade: HEY!  
  
Yami: YOU WILL DIE! (leaps on Fade and starts killin' him)  
  
Fade: Ow! Ow! Argh! Help me!  
  
Shade: (sniffs more VitaFresh) WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! (Walks up to Aeris) My god you're greasy.  
  
Aeris: (looks at him seductivly) Is that a python in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?  
  
Shade: No, its a python. (a snake flys out of his pocket and bites him) Ow! But seirously, I've got the F, the C and the K.  
All I need is U.  
  
Aeris: (laughs) Nah. Hey Cloud!  
  
Cloud: (walks over) Yeah?  
  
Yami: (gets up from beating up Fade) I will PROVE I AM NOT GAY! Hey, Aeris!  
  
Aeris: Mmm?  
  
Yami: If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?  
  
Aeris: (slaps Yami) You gay bastard!  
  
Yami: I AM NOT GAY!  
  
(flip to Kaiba in bed with Mai)  
  
Kaiba: Man... (smokes a joint) We have been at this for a long time.  
  
Mai: Oh god...  
  
Kaiba: Want some? (passes the joint to Mai)  
  
Mai: GIMME!! (takes a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong puff) Oh yeah...  
  
(Silent Mokuba pops up on top of Mai and smiles)  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Will Yami finish Fade?  
Will Shades pick-up lines work?  
And how long will Kaiba make love to Mai? (Kaiba: Don't forget my brother Silent Mokuba)  
Find out next time on Yami-Ball-Z!  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Shade: VITAFRESH! Sniff some yourself! Its good! Mmmmmmm!  
  
Fade: Ignore him. He's just high.  
  
Shade: NO I'M NOT! ARGH! STUPID MOR-  
  
Fade: SHADE! Don't say my true name. For I am the one and only (darkness surrounds him) FADE!!!  
  
Shade: No. You're the one and only stupid Morgan. Hee hee hee... 


	14. VitaFresh Is Yummy!

Shade: My dearest Lady Lavender Clearwater; I am afraid to admit that I do not know who or what Sailor Senshi is. Therefore,  
I will be forced to make him/it sing the 'Hi My Names Joe' in the 15th episode, along with the Gundam Wing boys and other  
characters who I have no idea of. Care to comment, Morgan?  
  
Fade: Grr... you will die.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh, FF7, or Dragon Ball Z AND (pant) Nadescio. The leather formally known as leather is know   
touring Switzerland.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Yami: I am not gay. I have been with SOOOOOOOOOO many chicks.  
  
Shade: Doubt it.  
  
Yami: Why must you do this to me?  
  
(Pegasus walks in)  
  
Pegasus: oh don't be sad. Being gays isn't all bad. I hardly ever get mad.  
  
Fade: Get out of here ya bum!  
  
Pegasus: Oh well. I was getting bored of this frilly doo-doo. (walks away)  
  
Shade: HEY! I ain't frilly!  
  
Yami: Wait... you made me gay! (leaps onto Fade and starts pummeling him into a pulp)  
  
Yugi: (looks at his watch) OH MY GOD! ITS TIME FOR NADESCIO!  
  
(everyone runs for a seat in front of the TV)  
  
Cell: Anyone want some... snacks?  
  
(everyone rushes for snacks. All but Vegeta [reincarnated] get some)  
  
Vegeta (re-incarnated): You provided insuffiecnt snacks again. You will be destroyed.  
  
Cell: Nah. (slurps Vegeta up with his tail) Yum! Anyone want my snacks?  
  
(everyone rushes for Cells leftover snacks)  
  
Yugi: Its time!  
  
TV: 3, 2, 1, KABOOM! Its time to get to know the Nadescio!  
  
Bunny Eurika: Hi!  
  
Nice Lady Ruri: Hi!  
  
(Kaiba walks up behind everyone)  
  
Kaiba: Hey, can I watch my show?  
  
(everyone ignores him)  
  
Kaiba: Can I watch my show?  
  
(everyone ignores him)  
  
Kaiba: (getting angry) Can I watch MY show?  
  
(everyone ignores him)  
  
Kaiba: (pulls out his pistol and loads it)  
  
(everyone turns to him)  
  
Kaiba: Now we're gonna do things, my way.  
  
(Mai walks up)  
  
Mai: Kaiba...  
  
Kaiba: (turns to Mai) 'Sup slut?  
  
Mai: Need drink... or smoke...  
  
Kaiba: How about some... (pulls out two bags of substances in clear bags) snoochie-boochie-noochies?!?  
  
Mai: GOD YES! (snorts some) WHEEEE!!!  
  
Tea: Whats that? Is it VitaFresh?  
  
(Mai is bouncing around the room)  
  
Kaiba: (hangs his head in shame) Yes... I am not a true dealer... sniff...  
  
Silent Mokuba: (pats Kaibas back)  
  
Shade: Did someone say... VITAFRESH?!?  
  
Kaiba: Here... WAH! (runs out of room after passing VitaFresh to Shade)  
  
Silent Mokuba: (rolls his eyes and runs after Kaiba)  
  
Shade: (snorts some VitaFresh) WHEEEEEEEE!!! (starts bouncing around the room with Mai)  
  
Fade: Oh god...  
  
Yami: Whats wrong... MORGAN?  
  
(everyone points and laughs at him)  
  
Fade: (tears gushing) Why are you so hurtful? (runs out of room)  
  
Mai: Bounce bounce bounce bou- (falls over but gets up instantly) WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!  
  
Shade: YUGI IS THE LOVE CHILD OF ME AND JESSICA! WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!  
  
Yugi: Who is Jessica? And is he?  
  
Fade: (runs back in) Jess is his girlfriend, and I don't know... (runs out of room again)  
  
(Shade and Mai have collapsed in the corner, and they're giggling their heads off)  
  
Mai: I looooooooooooooooooooooooove my shirt. Its all swirly... hee hee hee...  
  
Shade: What are you doing here? I demand my cheese danish!  
  
Tea: Good. They're running out of energy...  
  
Yugi: Is he? Who is my father? Will I ever know?  
  
Joey: Mai! This is my chance... (he runs up to Mai) Here... (picks her up)  
  
Mai: Did you know that I lurved you...?  
  
Joey: Lets go... (they exit)  
  
Tea: Am I stuck with Shade?  
  
Shade: Hey Tea... is that an apple in your pocket or are you just really sexy? I love you...  
  
Tea: Aww... thanks Shade...  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Will Joey get it on with Mai?  
Will Shade get anymore VitaFresh?  
And is Yugi really Shade and Jess' love child? (Yugi: When will I find out?)  
Find out next time on Yami-Ball-Z!  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Shade: God this is insane... send me ideas for the next episode of Yami-Ball-Z aka THE 15TH EPISODE EXTRAVAGANZA! Me and Jess  
just had our 2 year aniversery! Send more ideas! 


	15. The 15th Episode Extravaganza

Shade: Its time for the 15th EPISODE EXTRAVAGANZA! Today, its time for Cloud and his team to duel Yugi, Joey and Tristan to duel  
Cloud and his team in the battle of the episode. But it is an elimination contest, so its Cloud vs Yugi, Joey vs ??? and finally  
Tristan vs ???. Who will win? I don't know. I'm gonna snort some VitaFrseh and make it up. BTW, if you didn't know it yet, Fade  
(aka Morgan) is out of hospital and doing fine. Jessica, my girlfriend makes an appearance to. She wrote her lines herself.  
  
Fade: Yeah. Just gotta come in for a check up in 2 weeks. Also, your requests who we know nothing about will just sing the Joe  
song.  
  
Shade: But for now, ITS TIME TO DUEL! Oh yeah- \.../= Thinking  
  
Disclaimer: I (Fade: WE!) don't own Yugioh, FF7, Dragon Ball Z, Sailor Senshi, Gundam Wing.  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Yugi: Can we duel yet?  
  
Cloud: Yes! First, Yugi will deel me!  
  
Yugi: CAN YOU SAY DUEL RIGHT?!? ITS DUEL! NOT DEEL OR DEUL OR EVEN DEAL! ITS DUEL! DUEL!  
  
Cloud: O..............k. Draw your cards! (Cloud and Yugi each draw 7 cards).  
  
Yugi: I get to go first. I play... Dark Magican! (Dark Magican appears) And I play 2 cards face down... your move.  
  
Cloud: Ha! Nice move. I play... (looks at his hand) SEPIROTH! (Sepiroth appears with an Attack of 5000 and a defense of 4500)  
  
Yugi: What?!?  
  
Cloud: And I add the Holy Materia! But I think I'll play this other card card in reverse defense. And I'll put this card face  
down... your move.  
  
Tea: Go Yugi!  
  
Shade: Yeah! Beat the heck outta Cloud!  
  
Tifa: Go Cloud!  
  
(everyone glares at Tifa)  
  
Tifa: I mean Yugi. Go Yugi.  
  
Yugi: Thanks Tifa. I play the Celtic Guardian! And I combine it with the legendry EXCALIBURN! (Celtic Guardians sword sets on  
fire. His attack increases to 2500)  
  
Cloud: That won't make a dent in Sepiroth!  
  
Yugi: But you forget one thing. My face down cards. In 5 turns you will lose. But I will reveal this one magic card... Its the  
SUMMON MONSTER CARD! I can retrive any monster from my deck... (he searches through his deck and pulls one out) But I won't play  
this card. I'll play this one... THE ANNOYING EAR FLICK! (A hand in a flicking postion appears on Yugis side. It has an attack  
of 100 and a defense of 100) ANNOYING EAR FLICK, ATTACK!  
  
Cloud: Ha! It cannot hurt the Unstoppable Sepiroth!  
  
Yugi: But it can annoy him of the field. (The Annoying Ear Flick flicks Sepiroths ear, and keeps on doing it. Sepiroth just walks  
off the field, pissed off. Life pionts now Cloud: 1600 Yugi: 2000)  
  
Cloud: Aww hell.  
  
Aeris: Go... (everyone glares at her)... Yugi. Yeah, go Yugi.  
  
Yami: (pauses from beating Fade into a bloody pulp) Go Yugi! (continues beating Fade into a bloody pulp)  
  
Sailor Senshi and the Gundam Wing crew: Hi, my names Joe.  
I got a wife and three kids  
And I work in the button factory.  
One day my boss walked up and said  
"Joe, are you busy?"  
I said no  
And he showed me how to push a button like so  
"Can you do it?"  
I said no  
And I didn't push the button like so  
  
Yugi: Remember- 5 turns. Your move.  
  
Cloud: \Damn, I must destroy his ear flick.../ I'll draw my card... and I'll play the Kaboom card! It blows up any one of your   
monsters. And I'll blow up... Annoying Ear Flick. (The hand blows up. Life points- Cloud: 1600 Yugi: 1900)  
  
Goku: Ka-boom! You goin' down boy!  
  
Shade: Grr... You suck Cloud!  
  
Gohan: No, he rules! Go Cloud! Beat that punk-ass kid!  
  
Shade: DIE! KA-SHADE-HA-FADE-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! (Goku and Gohan are blasted)  
  
Cloud: Shutup down there! But I will also play... yes... Rabid Wolf! (A wolf frothing at the mouth appears. It has an Attack of  
1200 and defence of 1000)  
  
Yugi: Ho ho ho! That one stinks! It will die, like you, in 5 turns.  
  
Cloud: But wait. I put down another card. Face down. Your move.  
  
Yugi: 4 more turns. 4 more turns till you lose. I play The White Light Angel! (A blonde female angel appears. Attack 400 Defence  
3000). And I also play... the Polymorph card! It allows me to combine any 2 cards, as long as they're compatible.  
  
Joey: Go Yug'! Beat that pompus nazi!  
  
Cloud: No, thats... impossible!  
  
Yugi: I combine White Light Angel with the Celtic Guardian to create... (a bright light surrounds the two monsters.)... Peter,  
Guardian Angel Of The Gate! (A blonde male angel holding a flaming sword is there) He has an Attack of 5000 and a Defence of  
5000! But I won't attack... your move. 4 more turns.  
  
Cloud: Aw hell. Hold on... (looks at his cards) I play the Samurai Warrior! (The Samurai Warrior appears. It has samurai armour  
and carries a katana. It has an attack of 1500, defence of 1200). And I use the... Polymorph! Combine my Rabid Wolf and Samurai  
Warrior to create... (a bright light surrounds the monsters) The Ronin Wolf! (A were-wolf creature holding a katana is there)  
It has an Attack of 5000 and a defence of 5000 to. RONIN WOLF! ATTACK THE DARK MAGICAN! (The Ronin Wolf does a nice vertical  
slash on the Dark Magican, causing it to explode)  
  
Yugi: No! (Life Points now Cloud: 1600 Yugi: 900)  
  
Cloud: What? You should've died!  
  
Yugi: You forgot my second face down card. It lowers the attack to do only 1000. My move. 3 more turns till your demise.  
  
Shade: Go Yug'!  
  
Joey: Hey! Thats my line!  
  
Shade: You callin' me punk?  
  
Joey: Yeah! Yah! (attacks)  
  
Shade: HA!(punches him hard in the jaw)  
  
Joey: (falls to the ground) Ugh!  
  
Aeris: (walks up to Shade and rubs his shoulders) Oh Shade, you're so strong!  
  
Shade: Frankly my dear I don't give a damn.  
  
Fade: (In a mocking voice) Frankly my dear I just want the ham.  
  
Gotenks: (mocking) Frankly my dear I don't like this Spam.  
  
Garrett: (mocking) Frankly my dear I rape my lamb.  
  
(everyone stares at Garret)  
  
Garrett: What the sh*t do you want?  
  
Yugi: Back to dueling. I think I'll play the Swords Of Revealing Light! It freezes your monsters for 3 turns. And I'll play the  
Armeggodon Meteor! (A very large meteor flys towards Clouds Ronin Wolf, but freezes before it hits.) And I'll play this card face  
down. Your move.  
  
Cloud: \Hmm... what is that card?.../ Ok, I'll play... (looks at his hand) Heh. I play the Texas Chainsaw Massacrist! (a large  
man wearing a hockey mask and holding a blood stained chainsaw appears. Attack: 2500 Defense: 0) And I combine it with the  
Ultimate Chainsaw! (His attack raises to 5000) But I play the Massacrist in defense mode.  
  
Yugi: But his defence is zero! It'll die!  
  
Cloud: (mocking Yugi) But his defence is zero it'll die. (going back to normal voice) I know that! Which is why I play... Shield  
and Sword! (everyones defence and attack switch. Doesn't change the Guardian of The Gate or Ronin Wolf, but Massacrist now has a  
defence of 5000 and an attack of 0) My move is over.  
  
Shade: The f*ck?  
  
Kaiba: Want some snoochie-boochie-noochies?  
  
Shade: Gimme! (snorts some VitaFresh) WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! I LOVE CHEESE!  
  
Tea: Jess, how can you live with him?  
  
Jess: He makes me laugh. And I love him.  
  
Tea: (sarcasticly) Really? You love him? Wow.  
  
Jess: (grins at Tea)  
  
Yugi: Back to duelling. Two more turns Cloud. Two more. I think I'll finish my turn now. Tea!  
  
Tea: Yes Yugi?  
  
Yugi: Can we have a quickie?  
  
Tea: (giggles) No Yugi.  
  
Shade: I LIKE DANISHES!  
  
Jess: (giggles) Oh Shade.  
  
Cloud: My turn? Already? Umm... I'll finish too.  
  
Yugi: One more turn. You ready?  
  
Cloud: Yes. Have your turn. But you can't beat me.  
  
Yugi: I'll play this Amish Loser, circa Episode 1! And I'll finish now!  
  
Cloud: But I'll attack it with my Ronin Wolf! Ronin Wolf, ATTACK!  
  
Yugi: Umm... no. You're frozen by the Swords of Revealing Light.  
  
Cloud: DAMN! OK, i'll finish now.  
  
Yugi: That was your last turn.  
  
Cloud: But you can't beat me.  
  
Yugi: Oh? Your Wolf is not the only thing frozen by the swords. See my meteor? It was frozen. It has an attack of 6600. It will  
destroy you when my turn ends. (gives the thumbs up) And my turn (gives the thumbs down) is over.  
  
(The meteor flys down and destroys everything of Clouds. Life Points- Cloud: 0 Yugi: 900)  
  
Tea: Go Yugi!  
  
Joey: Go Yug'!  
  
Shade: GO ME AND JESS' LOVE CHILD!  
  
Jess: (blushing) Shade...  
  
Yugi: Hell yea'!  
  
Cloud: Good game Yugi. But now Tristan must fight.  
  
Yugi: Who is he duelling?  
  
Cloud: Sepiroth!  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Will Tristan beat Sepiroth?  
Will Joey beat his mystery opponent?  
And will we find out if Yugi is Shade and Jess' love child?  
Find out next time on Yami-Ball-Z!  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Shade: Send in more ideas! Tunes for my girl Jess! 


	16. Tristan vs Sepiroth!

Shade: Mrs Future Valentine- I am extraordinarily sorry for making Cloud lose. In exchange, I will let Vincent Valentine have a  
major part in this episode. Kay? By the way (steam starts gushing from his ears) , NO SWEARING IN THE REVEIWS! At our high school,  
the head of the computers has a thing that blocks all sites that have swear words. THANKS FOR RUINING IT McCLOUD! Anyway, I just  
went to Japan and got a really cool katana. It is so cool. Anyway... lets go!  
  
Fade: Oh! Hitoki, VitaFresh is a powdered orange drink. It is really sugary, and makes you go high in an instant if you sniff it.  
  
Shade: Yes. Might have some now! (sniffs some VitaFresh) WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!  
  
Disclaimer: Fade and I don't own Yugioh, FF7, Dragon Ball Z or Card Captors. We are holding memorial services for the late   
leather this Teusday.  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Vincent: Ok, so who's going next? Am I in this?  
  
Shade: Yeah, I think you're playing Joey.  
  
Vincent: Hooray!  
  
Fade: Better get your deck prepared.  
  
Vincent: Yeah... (starts getting his deck ready)  
  
Sepiroth: Enough of this. I think it's time to deal!  
  
Yugi: (to Cloud) Your friends can't even say it?!?  
  
Cloud: Grr... I will win... next time...  
  
Tristan: Mmm... leather...  
  
Sepiroth: I go first!  
  
Tristan: Hee hee hee... leather...  
  
Sepiroth: O...........K. I'll play... the... umm... how do I play this?  
  
Shade: They're as clueless as each other.  
  
Sepiroth: Ok... I'll play the Random Dragon-Ball-Z Character card! (all of these DBZ characters start flipping)  
  
Fade: Who will it be?  
  
Yami: Why the hell is Dragon Ball Z doing in this series?  
  
Sepiroth: It's slowing down... (the flipping stops on... Hercule, who has an attack of 500) NO!  
  
Yugi: Yes!  
  
Cloud: No!  
  
Aeris: Who is Hercule?  
  
Shade: A clueless idiot.  
  
Mai: Say Vincent...  
  
(Vincent looks up)  
  
Vincent: Yes?  
  
Mai: I'll do anything for $200.   
  
Vincent: Anythin'?  
  
Mai: Yes! Anything!  
  
Vincent: Ok. (hands over money) Bitch, paint my house.  
  
Mai: Grr... (grabs a paint brush)  
  
Vincent: Not the chimney!  
  
Sepiroth: Your move.  
  
Tristan: Umm... Oh no! Hercule... leather... hee hee hee...  
  
Sepiroth: You gonna play?  
  
Tristan: Umm... go! Leather!  
  
(A piece of leather appears on the field. It has an attack of 0)  
  
Tristan: Go! Leather! (drools)  
  
(The leather flys forward but is destroyed by a chop from Hercule, which was cooked to perfection by Shade on his BBQ)  
  
Yami: Life points are now Sepiroth: 2000 Tristan: 1500!  
  
Cloud: Oh yeah!  
  
Kaiba: (still crying about not being a real dealer) Why couldn't I get some REAL snoochie-boochie-noochies...?  
  
Silent Mokuba: (rolls his eyes)  
  
Sepiroth: HA! I combine Hercule with the Upgrade Some Stupid DBZ Character Into SSJ4 Goku! MWHAHAHA! (Hercule turns into SSJ4  
Goku, with an Attack of 6000)  
  
Tristan: No! Not the... (drools un-cerimoniusly) leather... (drools more)  
  
Sepiroth: Can I do a mercy killing?  
  
Shade: Still got a lot of room to fill up. But we can start Joeys duel!  
  
Tristan: Mmm... (drools) leather... (chews Teas shoes and drools on them)  
  
Sepiroth: Goku, do the Kamehameha! (Goku does so, and destroys Tristans life points)  
  
Yami: End game! Sepiroth wins!  
  
Sepiroth: Oh yeah!  
  
Cloud: Who-hoo!  
  
Yugi: (claps veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey slooooowly)  
  
Yami: I declare a tag-team match! On the side of Final Fintasy 7, CLOUD AND VINCENT! And on the side of good, niceness and all  
things wonderful, we have the legendry-  
  
Cloud: CAN YOU GET TO THE PLAYERS?!?!  
  
Vincent: YEAH! And... MAI! How's my house doin'?  
  
Mai: (continues painting Vincents house) Grr...  
  
Yami: Umm... we have YUGI AND JOEY! LET THE GAMES BEGIN! I DECLARE THAT YUGI GOES FIRST, FOLLOWED BY VINCENT! BEGIN... NOW!  
  
Yugi: Good! (looks at his cards) I play these 2 cards face down... (puts 2 cards down) And I'll also play this Ronin Wolf!   
(the Ronin Wolf appears on the table [read episode 15 for description], with an attack of 5000) Your move Vincent.  
  
Vincent: \What is he up to with those cards.../ Well, I'll play my Keroberos, Guardian Beast of The Seal! (Keroberos appears.  
He has an attack of 4000) And I'll combine him with THE CLOW BOOK! It increases all Card Captors cards power ten fold. (Keroberos'  
power is now 40,000) I'll give you some time to think. Your move, but I doubt you'll last.  
  
Joey: Oh sh*t!  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Will Vincent win the duel?  
Will Mai finish Vincents house?  
And will something MEANINGFUL actually happen in this series?  
Find out next time on Yami-Ball-Z!  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Shade: Keep sending ideas for this story, and it's sister story YAMI-BALL-GT! Please! We need the money! If you were wondering,  
this story is actually our english project. The more good reveiws we get, the better our grade! Only 1 semi-flame so far! 


	17. The Final Duel!

Shade: Due to popular demand, I am continuing this series known as 'Yami-Ball-Z'. Cloud and Vincent are still deul- (I mean deel,  
no dul...)ing Joey and Yugi. AND CAN WHOEVER PUT US ON THEIR FAVOURITES LIST PLEASE TELL US?!?  
  
Fade: Yeah, let's go!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh, FF7, Card Captors, Blue Submarine No.6 or Dragon-Ball-Z!  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Joey: Ok... I'll play the Card Destroyer! And I'll destroy... THE CLOW BOOK! (The Clow Book blows up, returning Keroberos' power  
to 4000) And I'll play the Red Eyes Black Dragon! (Red Eyes Black Dragon appears, attack of 2400) And I'll combine it with an  
Armageddon Meteor! ((Red Eyes gets a very large meteor in his mouth and his attack raises to 3500) RED EYES! ATTACK KEROBREOS!  
(Red Eyes launches his meteor at Keroberos. Kero gets engulfed in flames and blows up)  
  
Yami: Vincent is now on 1500 life points!  
  
Joey: Yes! But I'll finally play these 2 cards face down! Your move Cloud...  
  
Cloud: Hmm... this is crap. I'll play the... HOT NAKED CHICK CARD! (A REALLY hot naked chick appears on the field) It distracts  
all male cards and all lesbians! And I'll also play this monster in reverse defence mode. And I'll also play this trap card.  
Your move.  
  
Yugi: Damn! (Ronin Wolf and Red Eyes are drooling over the really hot naked chick) But she is hot...  
  
Tea: YUGI!  
  
Yugi: (slaps himself) Ow! I'll play this White Light Angel in defence mode! (White Light Angel appears with a defence of 3000)  
And I'll also deploy this magic card! It stops all enemy attacks for 1 turn! And I'll play the Angelic Defence card! It raises  
my Angels defence to 5000! Your move, Vincent...  
  
Vincent: No attacks?!? Dang! Oh well, I'll play this card in reverse defence. And I'll end my turn. Joey, why don't you attack it?  
  
Joey: No way! I saw Clouds trap card! I'll just play it safe and play this monster known as... THE SHADOW NINJA! (A small shadow  
appears on the field) It has a very large attack and a very large defence. (Attack: 4500 Defence: 4500) End turn. Your move Cloud.  
  
Cloud: Bugger!  
  
Tifa: Don't give up Cloud!  
  
Aeris: Love ya Cloud!  
  
Shade: Yugi! Joey! Don't give up!  
  
Tristan: (gets a small piece of leather on a necklace) Oh key of leather,  
Power of brownness,  
Power of yum!  
Surrender the stick  
Of leather ignite.  
RELEASE!  
(Tristan has now has a large stick of leather shaped into a wand)  
  
Shade: The what?  
  
Tristan: I am now in a state like that of Yami Tristan! Now... (pulls out a card) LEATHER CARD! GIVE EVERYONE SOME LEATHER TO  
CHEW! RELEASE! (everyone is now up to their elbows in leather) Yum-tastic! (starts eating)  
  
Cloud: O......................K. I'll just throw down this card in reverse defence mode. (throws down a card) Your move. And the  
the attack paralysis is gone! Lets battle!  
  
Yugi: Grr... destroy trap! Destroy Clouds trap! (Clouds trap is destroyed) And I'll also play this Silver Fang! (Attack: 1200)  
And I'll attack Vincents monster! Attack!   
  
Vincent: But I'll play this card! STOP ATTACK! (Silver Fang is halted) Now he can't attack this turn. And now it's my turn. I  
play JUst Desserts! It takes 500 life points off your score for each monster!  
  
Yami: Oh no! Life points now Yugi: 500 and Joey: 1000! Cloud and Vincent are in the lead!  
  
Cloud: Oh yeah!  
  
Joey: Grr... Yugi! We ain't gonna win this!  
  
Yugi: (sighs) I know. Play the Destruct.  
  
Joey: I play Destruct! It destroys everyones life points!  
  
Yami: ITS A... TIE?!?  
  
Cloud: What?  
  
Vincent: Huh. Figures.  
  
Jess: Thats a really bad conclusion Shade.  
  
Shade: I know, but...  
  
Aeris: Oh crap!  
  
Tifa: No one wins?!?  
  
Hiyami: Yeah, whatever...  
  
Tristan: Leather... (eats his pile of leather)  
  
Tea: Yugi...  
  
Mai: Huh...  
  
Vincent: You finished my house?  
  
Mai: Yes...  
  
Kaiba: Hey Mai! You'll do anything for $200?  
  
Mai: (sigh of relief) Yes! Yes!  
  
Kaiba: Ok! (hands over money) Now, pay me $500!  
  
Mai: Argh! (hands over money) Here...  
  
Shade: Hey Jess...  
  
Jess: What?  
  
Shade: (pulls out 2 bags of substances) Snoochie-boochie-noochies!  
  
Kaiba: (turns to Shade) You stole my line! (leaps forward) Yah!  
  
Shade: (pulls out a katana) Yah! (does a horizontal slash right across Kaibas belly)  
  
Kaiba: Huh? (looks down and sees a small trickle of blood come out of the slash) Uh... (he pokes the wound. Immediatly his guts  
spill out all over him) Argh!  
  
(everyone runs to his aid)  
  
Mokuba: Seto! No!  
  
Shade: (frozen, he drops his katana) I... I didn't mean to hurt him... (falls down on his knees)  
  
Kaiba: (holding his wound as blood pours out) Mokuba... I see... I see the light...  
  
Mokuba: No! Don't die! (holds his brothers free hand to his tear filled face) Don't die...  
  
Kaiba: Goodbye...  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Is Kaiba really dead?  
Is this story turning seirous?  
And do the Koreans have anything to do with this atrocity?!? (Korean 1: [crying] Why...?)  
Find out next time on Yami-Ball-Z!  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Fade: (crying) Oh god... why must it be this way? (sobs)  
  
Shade: Oh don't be a baby. You know that lunacy will prevail in the end... MWHAHAHAHA! 


	18. The Dream Sequence

Shade: Ok, that Kaiba killing has left open a new path of lunacy in this story. Now... why did I do that to Kaiba? He was one  
of my favourite characters...  
  
Fade: Don't be such a baby.  
  
Shade: Ok 'I Ran Off To My Room Crying When They Cancelled Sailor Moon' MORGAN!  
  
Fade: (crying) Why are you so hurtful? (runs out of story)  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own Yugioh, FF7 or Dragon Ball Z!  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Mokuba: Brother... don't die... (crying like heck) please don't go...  
  
Kaiba: (holding his bleeding wound) I'm... I'm sorry... good... goodbye...  
  
(All of a sudden, this pops and Kaiba wakes up)  
  
Kaiba: Wagh! (rub his face) God... what a crazy dream... (looks to his side. Chi Chi is there. Naked) What the...?  
  
Chi Chi: Hey big boy...  
  
Kaiba: Oh no... argh!  
  
Chi Chi: I didn't know that when you do a chick up the butt she farts, did you?  
  
Kaiba: Wargh! (runs out of room)  
  
Chi Chi: No! Wait!  
  
(Videl pops out from under the sheets, naked)  
  
Videl: Whats his problem?  
  
Chi Chi: I don't know...  
  
(All of a sudden, this pops and Cloud wakes up)  
  
Cloud: Whoa... (rubs his eyes) That dream was weird... (looks to his left and see's Aeris naked. Looks to his right and see's   
Tifa naked)  
  
Aeris and Tifa: Hey...  
  
Cloud: Well at least I woke up normally...  
  
(Tea pops up next to him naked)  
  
Tea: Hi Cloud!  
  
Cloud: Umm... hi...  
  
(Mai pops up next to him naked)  
  
Mai: Hey Cloud!  
  
Cloud: Hi...  
  
(Chi Chi pops up naked)  
  
Chi Chi: Mornin' Cloud!  
  
Cloud: What...  
  
(Videl pops up naked)  
  
Videl: Hey hey hey!  
  
Cloud: Huh...  
  
(Bulma pops up naked)  
  
Bulma: Lets do it again!  
  
Cloud: What?  
  
(All of these women are pouring into his room naked)  
  
Woman 1: Mkae love to me Cloud!  
  
Woman 2: Please Cloud!  
  
Cloud: No! (runs away)  
  
Tifa: Whats his problem?  
  
Aeris: I don't know...  
  
(All of sudden this pops and Yugi wakes up)  
  
Yugi: Wha- (looks puzzled) why am I dreaming about Clouds sex life?  
  
Voice: I have no idea Yug'!  
  
(Yugi turns to see a naked Joey next to him)  
  
Yugi: No! (runs out of room)  
  
(Bakura pops up from under the sheets)  
  
Bakura: What's his problem?  
  
Joey: I don't know...  
  
(All of a sudden, this pops and Tea wakes up)  
  
Tea: Wagh! (drinks some water) Oh god... (looks to the side and see's Yugi sitting there) Yugi? What are you doing here...?  
  
Yugi: I woke up in bed and...  
  
Tea: Joey was naked next to you?  
  
Yugi: How did you know?  
  
Tea: I have no idea... maybe I'm psychic...  
  
(A dude in a balaclava bursts in)  
  
Dude: Ok! Hit the ground and do a funky chicken dance!  
  
(All of a sudden, this pops and Jess wakes up)  
  
Jess: Whoa!  
  
(Shade gets up next to her)  
  
Shade: Whats wrong?  
  
Jess: Oh god... I just had this crazy dream about everyone dreaming and waking up again.  
  
Shade: Whoa... thats weird and crazy... \Note to self: Post idea to Fade about dream sequence chapter.../  
  
Jess: I also dreamt that you and me broke up... (looks at Shade)  
  
Shade: Why would you dream that? \Second note to self: Buy Jess something she really loves/  
  
Jess: Aw, thanks Shade! (hugs him)  
  
Shade: (puzzled) O.................K. Oh well, a hugs a hug! (he hugs Jess and they snuggle down in bed)  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Will these dreams go on any further?  
What will Shade get Jess?  
And will I ever get to do anything more than this? (Shade: I'm promoting you to Yu-Gi-Oh recorder for Shade!) Yes!  
Find out next time on Yami-Ball-Z!  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Shade: Ok, I've promoted the question dude! We'll have celebrity questioneers at the end of each episode! Send in your ideas  
for them! Please post some original ones to, we want to read fics as well as writing them!  
  
Fade: Ok... (sniff)  
  
Shade: Ignore him. He just got dumped by his girlfriend. Over the answering machine.  
  
Fade: What a cow! Wah! (crys some more) 


	19. No idea what to call this one!

Shade: Alright then, if YOU want to be the celebrity questioneer, write down your e-mail in a review and we will send you a  
pre-release copy of the episode you will be in. Write down the 3 question followed by 'Find out next time on Yami-Ball-Z!', then  
we will check out the questions and release it on FanFiction.net! It's that easy! But today I put Hercule from DBZ in.  
  
Hercule: Yes! I get a major part in the fic plus I get a chance to have a re-match with that stupid Goku!  
  
Fade: Quiet!  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own Yugioh!, FF7 or DBZ...  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Yugi: Man was that a crazy night.  
  
Tea: Mmmhmm. Weird. Especially that crazy man in a balaclava...  
  
Jess: I'm psychic!  
  
Shade: Yep. She is.  
  
Yugi: Oh, how amazing! \What a loser! Wanting attention like that.../  
  
Jess: You callin' me a loser?  
  
Yugi: My god it is true!  
  
Yami: I feel like going on a murderous rampage in the Barney Directors suite...  
  
Fade: You do in episode 3 of Yu-Gi-Oh!- The Bank Robbery.  
  
Yami: Crazy. Do I use (pulls out a shotgun) this?  
  
Shade: Yes...  
  
Yami: And this? (pulls out a six-shot revolver)  
  
Fade: Yes...  
  
Yami: And do I get to shoot down people from a distance like this? (he fires a shot from the revolver in a random direction. A  
scream is heard)  
  
Yugi: Thats some good shootin' Yami.  
  
Yami: Thanks aibou!  
  
Future Trunks: Can you shoot me, scum? (un-steathes his katana)  
  
Yami: (aims the shotgun) You callin' me out?  
  
Future Trunks: You ready?  
  
Yami: I was born ready. (fires the shotgun)  
  
(Future Trunks is hit, but still stands with no damage visible)  
  
Yugi: What...?  
  
Tea: How did he...?  
  
Mai: \I've had enough of men. I'm thinking of becoming a lesbian.../  
  
Jess: Get away from me, lezzo!  
  
Shade: Man, I just got a good plot idea!  
  
Furure Trunks: Your earthly weapons cannot harm me. (Britney Spears music plays) Hit me baby, one more time!  
  
(Yami fires again with no results)  
  
Future Trunks: You shouldn't play with toys, Yami! (slices Yamis shotgun with his katana)  
  
Yami: Damn! (starts firing his revolver like carzy at Future Trunks)  
  
Furture Trunks: Yami! I am your uncles fathers cousins grandfathers third granddaughters father!  
  
Yami: (stops firing) Thats not true. my uncles fathers cousins grandfathers third granddaughters father is a plumber.  
  
Future Trunks: That means... we're not related?!?  
  
Yami: Seems that way.  
  
Future Trunks: Oh. Well, I'll kill you anyway! (charges towards Yami)  
  
Tea: No!  
  
Yugi: No! You will not kill my friend! KAMEHAMEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! (the Kamehameha fires  
towards Future Trunks but he avoids it)  
  
Future Trunks: Ha! You will have to do better than that!  
  
SSJ4 Goku: SPIRIT BOMB! (He throws down the spirit bomb, obliterating Trunks)  
  
Trunks: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
Yami: You hit the wrong one! You were supposed to hit-  
  
(He is sliced across the belly by Future Trunks' katana)  
  
Future Trunks: Yeah!  
  
Yami: Uh... (his guts pour out along with a lot of blood) ARGH!  
  
Tea: No! Yami!  
  
Yugi: THATS IT! (looks at Future Trunks, and his eyes roll over) Power of the darkness  
Power of the night  
Summon the guardian  
Of the one true  
RONIN!  
(he is engulfed by black. Red eyes shine through the dark)  
  
Tea: Huh...?  
  
Future Trunks: You can forget your cheap tricks, Yugi.  
  
Yami: Yugi... don't do it... you're... to young...  
  
Yugi: (still engulfed by the dark) The one you know as Yugi no longer inhibits this body...  
  
Yami: (holding his wound) No... not now... don't do it Ronin... he'll die...  
  
Yugi: Ha! He is strong... I am fueled by his love for Tea and his burning hatred for Shade because of all the crazy sh*t he  
has had to do in this fic!   
  
Tea: (crying) Yugi!  
  
Shade: Oh crap. I knew I shouldn't have stuck that armadillo down his pants... oh wait. I'm doing that next episode. Ha!  
  
Yugi: Yes... (the dark disappears, revealing a Yugi with black hair with gray bangs, a black suit and burning red eyes) Now...  
  
Future Trunks: Oh crap. I shouldn't have killed Yami.  
  
Yugi: You killed my hosts friend. Now it's revenge. My only purpouse is to kill you. Now for my weapon... (he puts his hands  
palms down directly forwards and starts chanting. A silver sword materializes in front of him)  
  
Tea: What is that?  
  
Fade: It's the Silver Sword Of The Dark Flame.  
  
Tea: Thats one long name.  
  
Fade: Yes, but it has ultimate power.  
  
Yugi: FLAME ON! (the sword is covered in black flames) Now... let's fight!  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Hercule: Will I get another chance at getting Goku that stupid trickster?  
Will Videl break up with that weird alien boy?  
And will I ever get a haircut?  
Find out next time on Yami-Ball-Z!  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Shade: Ok! Write in if you want to be the celebrity questioneer! Read and review! 


	20. Evil Yugi Is Now In Control

Shade: Ok, this episode has the one, the only, MRS. FUTURE VALENTINE! Say hi!  
  
Mrs. Future Valentine: HI! ^.^  
  
Fade: Hi!  
  
Shade: Ok, in this episode stuff happens! As usual! Ok, as you know Yugi has been possesed by the spirit of Ronin, an evil  
warrior intent on exacting revenge in Yugis body for Yugi and himself as we will find out... enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own Yugioh! or DBZ or FF7. I believe that the lovely Mrs Future Valentine owns herself.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Future Trunks: You want me? Come get me!  
  
Evil Yugi: Huh. Figures. I knew a low class warrior such as yourself would be so up himself!  
  
Yami: No... not now... YUGI! BREAK FREE- (is whacked with the flat of Evil Yugis blade)  
  
Evil Yugi: Quiet old man! I'm flying this ship now!  
  
Tea: (crying) YUGI!  
  
Future Trunks: Kamehamehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! (fires the Kamehameha at Evil Yugi, but he easily dodges it)  
  
Evil Yugi: Even I can do better then that. DARK FIRE! (the black fire on Evil Yugis blade flys forward and fries Future Trunks  
arm off)  
  
Future Trunks: Argh! But I can still handle my blade in one hand! Yargh! (charges towards Evil Yugi and slices a wound on his  
chest)  
  
Evil Yugi: Hmm... (uses one finger to take up a bit of blood and licks it) Fresh. Haven't had this come out in 500 years.  
  
Shade: Fade! It's time to merge! (they merge into Fade Wolfius)  
  
Evil Yugi: Oh, it's you again. Haven't seen you since...?  
  
Fade Wolfius: It's been a long time, Ronin.  
  
Evil Yugi: You want to fight me to, old friend?  
  
Fade Wolfius: Not really. But you have turned all too evil my friend. We were once against it.  
  
Future Trunks: Yah! (attempts to do a vertical slash on Evil Yugi but Evil Yugi catches it between his index finger and thumb)   
Huh?  
  
Evil Yugi: You really think a baka like you can harm an experienced warrior like me?  
  
Future Trunks: You sound like my father... but he died!  
  
Vegeta (reincarnated X2): No I didn't son! Kick his ass!  
  
Evil Yugi: SILENCE! DARK SKULL! (a screaming black skull disintergrates Vegeta)  
  
Future Trunks: FATHER! NO!  
  
Fade Wolfius: Hmm, practising on small fish, huh? Why not try something larger?  
  
Future Trunks: Yah! (pulls his blade from Evil Yugis grip and thrusts it forwards, impaling Evil Yugi)  
  
Evil Yugi: Hmm? Oh yes, the annoying little fly. Your weapon will do no damage to me. Want me to prove it? (he pulls Future  
Trunks' blade up to the hilt into him) See?  
  
Future Trunks: But... but... how...?  
  
Tea: (crying) YUGI! NO!  
  
(Yami stirs)  
  
Yami: Yugi... break free...  
  
Evil Yugi: Quiet! (all of a sudden his voice changes to Yugis normal voice) Help me! Get out of my body- (his voice changes  
back to evil voice) Shutup! I am in control now! (voice changes again) Help me Yami!  
  
Yami: Break free! Smash his evil bonds!  
  
Fade Wolfius: Find his weakness!  
  
Evil Yugi: IF YOU WILL NOT BE QUIET I WILL FORCE YOU TO BE! WORLD OF DARKNESS! (everything becomes black. Yugi is seperated  
from Evil Yugi in this world)  
  
Yugi: Where are we?  
  
Evil Yugi: In the shadow realm. It's just you and me here. Here I can kill you a thousand times and yet you will not die, just  
feel the pain.  
  
Yugi: No!  
  
Evil Yugi: Yes! And if I then take us back to the normal world after killing you here then I will be free from your pathetic   
body and journey in my true form.  
  
Yugi: That will never happen!  
  
Evil Yugi: Ha! How can you stop me?  
  
Yugi: By doing this! (kicks Evil Yugi in the nuts and runs) See ya!  
  
Evil Yugi: (holding his crotch) Ooo... grr... (he disappears and re-appears right in front of Yugi)  
  
Yugi: Huh?  
  
Evil Yugi: I was locked in this realm for 500 years! You think I didn't learn some tricks? Now die little Yugi! (he starts  
bringing his sword down on Yugi)  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Mrs. Future Valentine:   
Will Yugi be killed?   
Will I get a date with Vincent?   
Will Vincent ever be in this fanfic again?   
Will Evil Yugi stay evil forever?   
Find out next time on Yami-Ball-Z!  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Shade: Ok! I left that one a little short but I needed the cliffhanger!  
  
Fade: I hope you know that made no sense. How could the product of our   
merge   
know Ronin, eh?  
  
Shade: You will find out soon... MWHAHAHAHA! Read and review! Write in if you want to be the celebrity questioneer! I'm calling  
you out Lady Lavender Clearwater! 


	21. The Shadow Realm Is Explained

Shade: Ok, today the questioneer is... MY BROTHER JAY! Say hi!  
  
Slick Donavan: Hey my brother.  
  
Fade: 'Sup?  
  
Slick Donavan: Not much.  
  
Shade: Ok, today the thrilling Ronin saga continues in the shadow realm! What will happen now?   
  
Disclaimer: We don't own Yugioh, FF7 or DBZ. Jay owns himself.  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Yugi: No! (he jumps out of the way) I can't die!  
  
Ronin: But you will Yugi. And then the world will end when I am unleashed. Now stand still! (he swipes at Yugi again and  
Yugi leaps again)  
  
Yugi: Help me!  
  
(Fade Wolfius appears)  
  
Fade Wolfius: Stop it Ronin! You shall not harm this one.  
  
Ronin: No! I must be released in the realm of men, and not even you will stop me!  
  
Yugi: Time out! (Evil Yugi and Fade Wolfius look at him) Can you explain to me how the merge of Shade and Fade knows you, Ronin?  
  
Fade Wolfius: I'll explain this one. Me and Ronin were fighters in war. We were men who fought as mercenaries for anyone. We  
fought for the English, the French, the Japanese and the Chinese. In fact we fought for everyone.  
  
Ronin: Then we were slayed by a rouge Muslim. When we died, we believed we would go to heaven. In fact, what happened was that  
we were sent to the Shadow Realm, a world where the ancient Eygytians played the early version of Duel Monsters and where the  
best warriors were sent when they died. We were given a choice to either be men who went back to the mortal realm when two men  
who knew the secrets of merging, and be the result of it...  
  
Fade Wolfius:... or be a spirit who, when summoned by a man with the right chant, would possess the man. I chose the first option,  
whereas Ronin chose to be the possesser.  
  
Ronin: Yami knew me in that realm. That is how you knew my chant.  
  
Yugi: Say what?  
  
Fade Wolfius: It is hard to understand. But the way it works is that if you die when he possesses you, he is released in the  
mortal realm for all eternity.  
  
Yugi: So you want to kill me Ronin?  
  
Ronin: Gee, took you that long to notice?  
  
Yugi: Then I challenge you to a duel! If I win then you exit my body and I go back to the mortal realm!  
  
Ronin: And if you lose?  
  
Yugi: (sighs) Then you kill me. That simple.  
  
Fade Wolfius: Yugi! Don't do it! He's too good!  
  
Yugi: But not for me and Joey. Wolfius! Can you bring Joey here?  
  
Fade Wolfius: Yes... (his eyes roll over)  
  
Yugi: What's happening?  
  
Ronin: He's bring your friend over to this realm.  
  
Fade Wolfius:  
I am the Wolf,  
I am the dead,  
Bring forth the one known as  
JOEY WHEELER!  
  
(Vincent Valentine appears)  
  
Yugi: Huh?  
  
Fade Wolfius: Oh dang, I screwed up.  
  
Vincent: Did you summon Joey Wheeler?  
  
Yugi: Uh huh.  
  
Vincent: Then you didn't screw up. My name is Joey Wheeler.  
  
Yugi: Say what?  
  
Vincent: I changed my name. Your friend is my son, Joey Wheeler Junior.  
  
Fade Wolfius: Oh, ok. Bye! (Vincent disappears) Try this again... (eyes roll over)  
  
Ronin: Please get the right one this time!  
  
Fade Wolfius:  
I am vengence,  
I am the night,  
Bring to this realm the one known as  
JOEY WHEELER JUNIOR!  
  
(Joey appears naked on the ground. He has a stiffie)  
  
Joey: Oh Mai, touch it... oh yeah... (opens his eyes and realizes that he's not there) Huh?  
  
Fade Wolfius:  
I am Myer,  
I am Sears,  
Give this naked dude some  
REAL CLOTHES!  
  
(Joey is now fully clothed)  
  
Joey: Thanks.  
  
Yugi: Joey! I have to duel for my life.  
  
Joey: Bad situation. (suddenly realizes something) Oh, you mean we have to...?  
  
Yugi: Yes. Let's do it.  
  
Ronin: What?  
  
Fade Wolfius: Ha! Great idea!  
  
Yugi and Joey:  
We are the ones who merge  
We are the ones who duel for life  
We are the ones who must combine  
To save the life of one half  
Summon the guardian known as  
SEGIR!  
(a bright light surrounds Yugi and Joey)  
  
Ronin: What... what is happening?  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Slick Donavan:  
Who is this Segir?  
Will I be in this fic again?  
Who will win this duel?  
Find out next time on Yami-Ball-Z!  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Shade: That was odd! Who is this Segir that Joey and Yugi morph into? Any comments, Jay?  
  
Slick Donavan: My name is not Jay! It is slick!  
  
Fade: I see...  
  
Shade: Read and review people! 


	22. Segir Vs Ronin: Stone Cold

Shade: Yes, this episode features the lunacy stylin's of the one, the   
only...  
  
Lady Lavender Clearwater: ME!  
  
Fade: Yay! I LOVE your work.  
  
Lady Lavender Clearwater: Thanks! You guys rock too!  
  
Shade: Ok, let the fun begin! (evil laugh) MWAHAHAHA! (normal voice) I   
mean... umm... hi?  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(the light fades and reveals a man with untamed blondie-brown hair, muscular chest and piercing blue eyes [This guy is modelled  
after Fades new boyfriend. Yep, BOYfriend])  
  
Man: Morning guys! I'm Segir, terror of the North. I'm here to duel you!  
  
Ronin: (to Wolfius) Is this guy an idiot?  
  
Segir: Yep! Lets duel! (draws his hand) Ok, I play... The Norse Maruder! (a man holding an axe appears with an Attack of 1000  
and a Defence of 600) And I combine him with The Biggest Axe You've Ever Seen! (the mans axe changes from normal size to bigger  
then you've ever seen before) And I play this card face down... your move.  
  
Ronin: Ok then... I play this odd card called Jive Turkey Jones! (a turkey with an afro and a stereo appears. Attack: 500  
Defence: 100) And I combine him with Greatest Disco Hits 75! (disco music starts playing. Jive Turkeys Attack is raised to 1000)  
JIVE TURKEY JONES! ATTACK!  
  
Segir: But that will do nothing! Can we have a nap?  
  
Ronin: A nap. At this time.  
  
Segir: Yep!  
  
Ronin: (eyes shine red and his Sword re-appears) YOU WILL DIE FOR YOUR INSOLENCE!  
  
Segir: Hee hee hee...  
  
Ronin: Aren't you scared? I'm mean! Cruel! Powerful!  
  
Segir: You're funny! (squishes Ronins nose) Beep! Hee hee hee! Sleepy... (goes to sleep)  
  
Ronin: Huh? That made no sense.  
  
Wolfius: You're right!  
  
Voice Over: And now a word from our sponsers!  
  
(a blue backdrop falls down and Yami and Bakura stand up)  
  
Yami: Hi! We're here to talk to you about Fungus Away!, the new foot fungus treatment from Moo Cow Industries!  
  
Bakura: (brings up his foot on a table and takes off his shoe and sock revealing a green, fuzzy foot) Yes, even my stinky feet  
can be treated!  
  
Yami: And his foot is absolutly disgusting! Look at it! It's horrible! It smells like sh*t! It looks like it's trying to win a  
green competition! It is- (interrupted by Bakura)  
  
Bakura: I think they've got the point. Anyway, buy Fungus Away! It's only $69.95 for half a box! Buy some now!  
  
Yami: Bye! (waves and then relaxes) Thank god thats over. (lights a cigarette) Want one?  
  
Bakura: Sure. (lights a cigarette) Ah. (rips of the carpet on his foot) Man is that itchy. So... want to go out tonight?  
  
Yami: How about we skip the going out and go straight to the sex? (looks at camera) Uh, is that red light supposed to be on?  
  
Bakura: (looks at the camera) Oh sh- (is cut off by the switch back to the duel between Segir and Ronin)  
  
Ronin: That was odd.  
  
Segir: (waking up) Yamn! I like naps!  
  
Wolfius: Anybody want some beer?  
  
Ronin: Please. (gets a beer and drinks some) Oh yeah.  
  
Segir: Yay yay yay beer beer beer! (drinks some. His voice changes to a more manly tone) Wow. That sped up my maturity by 10  
years! Now, lets duel.  
  
Ronin: Ok then... ('Born To Be Wild' music starts) Oh yeah! 'We were born, born to be wild...'  
  
Wolfius: (starts playing air guitar) Born to be wiiiiiild...  
  
(a goat runs past wearing a clown suit)  
  
Segir: (eyebrow raised) Was that a goat?  
  
(Seto and Mokuba dance by wearing nothing but top hats)  
  
Wolfius: Was that two naked druggies?  
  
(Kid Rock music starts)  
  
Ronin: (singing tone) I'm gonna be a cowboy, baby...  
  
Wolfius: Stick your butt in the air and we'll see a light shining...  
  
Segir: Thats not the song. (is overcome by raw emotions) I love you Ronin! Make love to me!  
  
Ronin: I think that Shade has gone haywire.  
  
Wolfius: Can you believe that Fade's gay?  
  
Ronin: Not really... want some pie? (holds a pie up)  
  
Wolfius: Flavour?  
  
Segir: I believe it's... apple.  
  
Ronin: Aren't we supposed to duel?  
  
Segir: Fine! I play the Haha You Lose Card! You automaticlly lose!  
  
Ronin: (starts disintergrating) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
(Mai walks in)  
  
Mai: This ain't a strip club... what's going on here?  
  
Ronin: (disintergrated to the shoulders) I'LL GET YOU SEGIR, AND YOUR LITTLE   
DOG TOO!  
  
(a small puppy by Segirs feet looks sad)  
  
Ronin: (nearly completly disintergrated) Oh, alright. I won't get you doggie... (fully disintergrated)  
  
Wolfius: Well that was fun. Wanna go back to the mortal realm?  
  
Segir: Hold on... (light surrounds him. Light dissappears and Yugi and Joey   
stand there)  
  
Yugi: Ok! Lets go!  
  
Wolfius: (eyes roll over)  
I am Fosters,  
I am Miller,  
Send us back to,  
THE MORTAL REALM!  
  
(they are now back in the studio. Wolfius turns back into Shade and Fade)  
  
Tea: Yay! You're back! (hugs Yugi) I didn't think you were coming back!  
  
Yugi: Well, I proved that wrong. Where's Yami?  
  
Rex: He's in the back room with Bakura and 'The Kama Sutra For Gays'.  
  
Fade: I can't believe you said I was gay.  
  
Jess: But it's true!  
  
Fade: I know, but you didn't have to tell everyone!  
  
(Tristan bursts in)  
  
Tristan: I AM A BOMB!  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Lady Lavender Clearwater:   
Is Tristian really a bomb?  
Will Yugi and Bakura get their sex?  
Will my Duo Maxwell enter this story? Oh wait, I just realized something. NEVER  
MIND!  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Shade: That was odd.  
  
Lady Lavender Clearwater: Yeah, Wait a sec. I like gay guys... And Shade too!  
  
Fade: How interesting...  
  
Shade: Read and review! Send in plot ideas! Send in if YOU want to be the   
next celebrity questioneer! 


	23. The Crazy Sht Episode!

Shade: Hi. I'm just here to announce that as of the next chapter of Yami-Ball-Z, me and Fade are permenently splitting up to  
pursue seperate careers. I, Shade, will continue the Yami-Ball series, The Bank Robbery and The Karaoke Party. Fade, on the  
other hand, will do other things.  
  
Fade: Yep. It's been nice knowing all you reviewers.  
  
Shade: Ok. I'm sorry to announce this as well, but the celebrity questioneer thing will no longer be in existence as well. Oh  
yeah! Our (soon to be mine) name will Shade Wolf, so go to that instead!  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or FF7! Nor Mallrats!  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Evil Monkey Narrator:  
Last time on Yami Ball Z...  
Segir defeated the evil Ronin!  
But as Yugi, Joey and Wolfius transported back to the mortal realm, Tristan rushed in saying that he was a bomb!  
What will happen now...?  
  
Yugi: What?!  
  
Tristan: That's right, I am a bomb!  
  
Yami: Ok then... can we see?  
  
Tristan: Umm... ok... (undoes his coat to reveal hundreds of red things with string coming out of each one)  
  
Bakura: Wait a minute! Those are hot dogs! (the red things start barking and wagging their string tails)  
  
Yami Bakura: Oh ha ha, Shade. You take everything so literally.  
  
Cloud: I'll get him! BOLT! (a lightning bolt flies down from the sky and fries Tristan)  
  
Tristan: Ow!  
  
(all of a sudden, Pegasus appears naked from a room with Sepiroth)  
  
Pegasus: Oh, hello Yugi boy!  
  
Cloud: Sepiroth! You killed my girl Aeris!  
  
(Aeris pops out from behind Pegasus)  
  
Aeris: No he didn't!  
  
Cloud: Aeris! Did he hurt you?  
  
Sepiroth: I may have...helped to relieve her. For quite a while she's been... as you say, self-sufficent?  
  
Yugi: Eww! That sounds sick!  
  
Yami: Not to me! Heh heh heh...  
  
Bakura: But Yami, I thought you were a homosexual!  
  
Yami: I'm bi.  
  
Pegasus: Oh goody! Care to join me in this room, Yami boy?  
  
Bakura: Can I go as well?  
  
Pegasus: Of course! The more the merrier! (they walk into the room and lock the door)  
  
Tristan: Hot dogs! (eats one hot dog) Yummy!  
  
Tea: Yawn! So bored.  
  
Yugi: Ok then, want to duel?  
  
Tea: Yugi, you know I suck at dueling!  
  
(a mysterious figure wearing jeans, a black t-shirt and a wolf fur cloak over his shoulders walks in)  
  
Figure: Duel me then, Yugi.  
  
Yugi: Who are you?  
  
Figure: That is not important. Do you wish to duel?  
  
Yugi: Ok then!  
  
(the arena comes up. Yugi and The Mysterious Figure stand in their positions)  
  
Yugi and Figure: DUEL!  
  
Figure: You first.  
  
Yugi: Right! I play this card in defence mode, and I also play this card face down! Your move.  
  
Figure: Alright. I play this card face down. And I also play Doombiter in Attack Mode! (a huge black wolf appears on the  
field. Attack: 1400 Defence: 1200) Now, Doombiter, ATTACK! (Doombiter charges forward and bites down on the now revealed  
Stone Soldier, who has a Defence of 2000. Life Points now Yugi: 2000 Figure: 1600)  
  
Yugi: Ha! You have failed in your attack! (Stone Soldier now has a Defence of 1000) But, what has happened?!  
  
Figure: Doombiter has the power to halve the defensive value of any defending monster he attacks! Your move.  
  
Yugi: Damn! Ok then, I play this card face down, and end my turn.  
  
Figure: The wolves told me you would do that. (draws his card) Hmm... I play Throatflyer in Attack Mode! (a reddish-brown wolf  
appears on the field. Attack: 1600 Defence: 1200) THROATFLYER! ATTACK! (Throatflyer lunges at such speed, all you see is a blur.  
The Stone Soldier is defeated.)  
  
Tea: Huh? Who is this guy, the Wolf-Master?  
  
Figure: Good guess. But no. Your move, Yugi.  
  
Yugi: Hmm... I'll play- (is interrupted by Tifa walking in with another scantily clad woman)  
  
Tifa: Hey guys! This is Joanna, she's one of the most highly ranked lesbian games developer in the world today!  
  
Cloud: Huh? Tifa! You're... a lesbian?  
  
Tifa: (smiles and nods) Yep! She says I can get my own game made!  
  
(Vincent appears)  
  
Vincent: Hey! How's things going?  
  
Cloud: Both my girlfriends are either cheating on me or lesbians.  
  
Yugi: I'm fighting a losing battle against this mysterious figure who seems to have a penchant for wolves.  
  
Pegasus: (pops his head out of the door) I'm making love to two underage boys!  
  
Tifa: I'm a lesbian!  
  
Tristan: Yummy! (eats a hot dog)  
  
Yami Bakura: And I hate all of you.  
  
(Seto and Silent Mokuba walk in)  
  
Seto: Yo, 'sup ya'll? We're back in da hood, ready to kick some ass! Ain't dat right Silent Mokuba?  
  
Silent Mokuba: (nods)  
  
(a fat guy in a beanie is pounding his fist on the wall)  
  
Fat Guy: Why can't I see the sail boat? (Shade: Inside joke if you've seen Mallrats)  
  
Yugi: Hey, you know what happened to me last week? A while ago, in like episode 1 or something, the Super Mario Bros. were  
mentioned. Yesterday I got a box full of Super Mario Bros. game and merchendising just because they were mentioned in this  
fic!  
  
Kaiba: (talking to Aeris) So, can you give me a blow job?  
  
Aeris: No!  
  
Kaiba: C'mon, it's for charity!  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Fade: Due to this being the last fic I'm in, I'm the last celebrity questioneer. Ahem...  
Will Kaiba get a blow job?  
Will Shade get more products from various companys?  
And will Shade, in future, do a lemon episode featuring Tifa and that other girl making lezzo love?  
Find out next time on Yami-Ball-Z!  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Shade: And now, I bid farewell to Fade. See ya! (kicks Fade out of Shades room) Now that he's gone, read and review! Also,  
send in ideas for the story! 


	24. The End Of Duels

Shade: Welcome to the first episode of this series without Fade! (audience cheers) Settle down, now, settle down. I know you  
are all excited about it, but please just quiet up. Now, this episode will be odd. Very odd. Odd is what it is. So let's begin!  
  
Disclaimer: I (I! Love saying it! Not 'we', 'I'!) do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! or FF7  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Yugi: Let us continue. I will play this card in Attack Mode! Go, Battle Warrior! (Attack: 1500 Defence: 1000) Now I will ATTACK  
DOOMBITER!(Battle Warrior charges forward, but is cut down by Throatflyer) WHAT?   
  
(Lifepoints Now: Yugi- 1900 Figure- 1600)  
  
Figure: Throatflyer has the ability to intercept an incoming attack, as long as the monsters Attack power is lower then his own.  
Now, it's my turn? I'll play... yes... I'll play Woundlicker in defence mode. (a white wolf appears on the field. Attack: 1000  
Defence: 1600) And then I'll use his ability, Enhance Lick, on Throatflyer. Enhance Lick allows his to raise any allied monsters  
Attack or Defence points by 100. (Throatflyer now has an Attack of 1700) And then I'll play this trap card. Your move.  
  
Tea: Wow. What a duelist! Not only has he got a good attack force, but his monsters abilitys protect him in almost any manner! I  
think Yugi is going to have a run for his money.  
  
Yugi: Damn it! I'll play this monster in Reverse Defence mode. And I'll lay a little trap of my own. Your move.  
  
Figure: (yawns) Hmm, such an obvious ploy. But the wolves tell me that the monster you played was none other then Kuribo. Oh  
really Yugi, I expected more from you. And your magic card is The Living Arrow. But I'll destroy that with this magic card,  
called Destroy Magic! (Yugis magic card is destroyed) And then I'll play Shade Wolf! (Shade: What? What did I do?) He has  
the ability to attack twice in one turn! (A large grey wolf appears on the field. Attack: 2000 Defence: 1500) Now, your move.  
  
Yugi: Looks like I'm pretty well screwed. But I have a plan up my sleeve... (Seto appears behind the Mysterious Figure holding  
a mallet) SETO! ATTACK! (Seto bonks the Figure on the head. The figure hits the ground)  
  
Figure: Ow? (collapses)  
  
Tea: Go Yugi!  
  
(Yami, Bakura and Pegasus all walk out of the room)  
  
Pegasus: (pulls back hair to reveal Millenium Eye) Now let's see what Yugi is thinking... (looks into Yugis mind) Eww! Eww!  
Eww! Naked Tea! Eww!  
  
Tea: Hey!  
  
Yugi: Was that to me? Or him?  
  
Yami: I have three nipples! Hey Bakura! Got milk? (squeezes his nipple, and milk comes out and gets Bakura in the face)  
  
Mai: Does anybody love me?  
  
Yugi: Quiet you.  
  
Figure: Does anybody care about me? I'm kind of essential to the story line!  
  
Yami: Got milk? (squirts nipple milk at Figures face)  
  
Figure: Thats it! WORLD OF SEIRIOUSNESS!  
  
(everything become... non-scriptful and sane...)  
  
Yugi walked over the the figure and grabbed his collar, picked him up and held his face to his own. "What's your name, kid?"  
Yugi spat at the figures face. "My name is Asuka Yamada-san."  
Yugi looked at Tea in her short dress. "Man, those are good legs..." he thought to himself before turning back to Asuka. "Why  
did you steal my sandwich? Huh? Did you think you'd get away from me in my hunger?" Yugi said, his eyes bloodshot.  
Tristan spoke up first, with a simple "What sandwich?"  
Yugi thought for a moment. Realising the error of his ways, he reached into his pants.  
"Yugi! I can help you, if you catch my drift..." Tea said. Yugi smiled, and pulled out the hidden lighted cigarette he kept  
in his pants. He put it in his mouth and puffed. Everyone apart from him grimaced.  
"Thats it. This is way freakier then before. WORLD OF LUNACY!!!" Asuka yelled.  
  
(everything becomes crazy again!)  
  
Tristan: Teapot.  
  
Yugi: So you stole my sandwich, eh?  
  
Asuka: What sandwich?!  
  
Yugi: Good point.  
  
Tea: You keep a lighted cigarette in your pants? Eww!  
  
Yami: It ain't gross to me! Heh heh heh...  
  
Yugi: Yami! Go back to your soul room!  
  
Yami: Fine. I can look at that porn Tea posed for... (goes back into soul room)  
  
Tea: He got those pictures?! I mean... what pictures?  
  
Yugi: (shocked) You posed for porn?!  
  
Mai: Slut! Slut! Slut!  
  
Seto: Hey, it's good stuff!  
  
Mokuba: You know it! (he and Seto high-five)  
  
Asuka: Can we ge back to me?  
  
Shade: (to everyone apart from Asuka) Do it. Or else.  
  
Yugi: (starts reading Anime Monthly) Or else what?  
  
Shade: Or else this! (Yugis 'Anime Monthly' turns to 'Naked Yugi Monthly)  
  
Yugi: Argh! The photos come back to haunt me! (throws magazine away)  
  
Tea: You posed for porn as well?!  
  
Seto: Hey, it's good stuff!  
  
Mokuba: You know it! (he and Seto high-five)  
  
Yugi: (looking at Seto and Mokuba) That's just sick.  
  
Mokuba: Hey, I gotta get my little dick hard every now again, but none of these chicks give me action. So what do I do?  
  
Seto: Yeah, what he said! (everyone stares) Apart from the little dick part.  
  
Mai: Don't you lie now!  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Will we get the truth out of Seto about the size of his penis?  
Will we ever get a description of Tea and Yugis porn?  
And will Mokuba get some action?  
Find out next time on Yami-Ball-Z!  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Shade: Keep sending ideas in for my fic. Or else. Review! 


	25. The Optional Ending

Shade: What the hell was with that review that was just 'F*CK YA!!' repeated many times?! What did I say?! What did I do!?  
Tell me! Ok, due to the fact that there were no ideas, this is just going to be about Shade and Yami dueling Seto and Mokuba!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Neon Genesis Evangelion or any View Askew production  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Shade: This fic has gone completly off the duelling aspect of the show. YAMI! Care to join me for a 2 on 2 duel against Seto  
and Mokuba?  
  
Yami: Won't that be a slaughter?  
  
Seto: I accept! My Dealer deck will kick your ass!  
  
(Seto, Mokuba, Shade and Yami all get up on their duelling platform)  
  
Seto, Mokuba, Yami and Shade: DUEL!  
  
Referee: Then it is agreed! The order will go Shade, then Seto, followed by Yami and finally Mokuba!  
  
Shade: Let's go! (draws his hand) I play... Silverfang! (Silverfang appears with an Attack of 1200 and a Defence of 800) And  
I also lay down this card. Your move, Seto.  
  
Seto: Excellent. First I play this little thing known as Basic Insect! (Attack: 500 Defnece: 700)  
  
Yami: Pathetic. Resorting to that weak thing?  
  
Seto: (smiles) Wait. I combine it with... SNOOTCHIE-BOOCHIE-NOOCHIES!!! (The Basic Insect smokes some joints, increasing his  
Attack to 1500)  
  
Shade: Drugs?!  
  
Seto: You betcha. Now, ATTACK! (Silver Fang is destroyed. Life Points: Shade- 1700. Everyone else is on full life points.)  
  
Shade: Damn!   
  
Yami: Can we go home yet?  
  
Shade: Fine. Let's end this duel.  
  
(everyone goes over to the TV)  
  
Tea: Whats on?  
  
Yugi: Umm... Yami-Ball-GT, the cartoon.  
  
(everyone looks at Shade)  
  
Shade: What? What did I do?  
  
Yami: I can't believe you sold out your own fic to... Nelvana?!  
  
Seto: No wonder it's so edited.  
  
TV DISCLAIMER: Due to the massive amounts of sexual content and swearing in the original version of this show, we cannot show   
it.  
  
Yugi: Which episode was that?  
  
Mokuba: The ad.  
  
(everyone looks at Shade)  
  
Shade: What?!  
  
(move to the outside of the studio- a policeman is talking on his walkie-talkie to someone else)  
  
Policeman: Charlie, we've got a 10-81. Two unauthorised druggies on the lot.  
  
Charlie: (coming out from walkie-talkie) Isn't that a 10-87?  
  
Policeman: No, a 10-87 is removing a dead hooker from Yami's trailer.  
  
Charlie: Oh, that Yami... back-up is on way.  
  
(some police run in)  
  
Policeman 1: We've got a 10-81 on our hands!  
  
Yugi: Jesus Yami, again?  
  
Yami: No bullsh*t! I wasn't with a hooker today, hah hah!  
  
Policeman 2: (points at Seto and Mokuba) There they are!  
  
Seto: You'll never take me alive! (he and Mokuba start shooting at the police with their guns)  
  
Fade: Crazy crackers with guns, time for me to get my black ass out of here! (he finally leaves)  
  
Tea: Goddamn it, why are we doing this story?  
  
Yugi: (thinks) I don't know.  
  
Shade: Because if you leave I'll let loose your terrible secret.  
  
Tea: Oh yeah.  
  
Yami: Damn. Wait, wasn't mine that I was bi-sexual?  
  
Shade: (grins manically) Wouldn't you like to know?  
  
(all of a sudden, Eva Unit 01 bursts in, and Shinji climbs out of the top)  
  
Shinji: Umm, is there an Angel around here?  
  
Yugi: Only this card one! (holds up the White Light Angel card)  
  
Shinji: FIRE! (the Eva fires at the card, destroying it)  
  
Yugi: Hey! I liked that card!  
  
Yami: Hey, he looks hot...  
  
Shinji: Regardless of what you may have heard, I don't kiss guys. (he gets back in the Eva and walks off)  
  
Yami: Well that sucked. He was really cute.  
  
Bakura: As cute as me?  
  
Yugi: Lets get out of this gay love thing. How's the shoot out going?  
  
Shade: Three policemen are down, and Seto has a shoulder wound.  
  
Yami: Well, there's only one thing to do know.  
  
Bakura: Have sweaty sex?  
  
Yami: No... but a good idea nonetheless. Let's sing 'Eye Of The Tiger.'  
  
Yugi:  
It's the eye of the tiger  
It's the thrill of the fight  
Risin'up to the challenge   
Of our rival  
  
Bakura:  
And the last known survivor   
Stalks his prey in the night  
But his fortune must always be...  
  
Yami: Eye of the tiger.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Shade: It's a great song. But before we leave, it's time for the options. What will happen next episode? Will:  
A) Yami finds out he's pregnant  
B) Goku and Veggeta fight it out to find out who has the biggest balls  
C) They meet a female pirate who has a large tresure chest (get my drift) and plenty of booty (wink wink nudge nudge)  
D) All of the above!  
Write in what you want in the reviews! Also just review. 


	26. Crouching Yami, Hidden Ruki

Shade: Alright, just to answer some questions that JCKilla asked:  
Yes, I know that Tristan doesn't duel. I just don't give a sh*t. If I followed the storyline of the show exactly, I could be  
sued for infringements of the original storyline.  
Two, I know that it has nothing to do with Yami-Ball-Z. It's just that I had already written a series for a monthly anime  
magazine. It was called called 'Yami-Ball', so I decided to have my first fic on FF.Net called 'Yami-Ball-Z'. If people want to   
read the original Yami-Ball, e-mail me and I will send all 23 episodes to you.  
Three, I know that Exodia has no Attack/Defence points. But this is about fictional characters. Fictional characters. Am I   
getting through to you at all?  
Alright, with the questions answered, its time to read the votes. All 3 of them. There were two for 'All of the above', so that  
is what is happening!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, Ruki Lee/Rika Wong, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, DBZ,  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(a doctor runs in)  
  
Doctor: Yami! I need a urine sample, a sperm sample, a sh*t sample and a sweat sample.  
  
Yami: Huh?  
  
Yugi: Just give him your undies.  
  
Audience: Hahahahaha!  
  
Doctor: Yoink! (grabs Yamis undies) My god! You're pregnant!  
  
Yami: Really? I thought that my growing gut was just fat.  
  
(everyone is wearing commando uniforms)  
  
Yugi: Alright, heres the plan. I'm going to go across the street to Inindos-  
  
Joey: The hair salon?  
  
Yugi: Uh huh. And I'm gonna see if they can squeeze me in for a perm.  
  
(a hunky man walks in)  
  
Pegasus: Hello you! Are you here for Yami and Bakuras wedding?  
  
Hunky Guy: No...  
  
Pegasus: I'm the best man. Ask anyone.  
  
(a female pirate walks in)  
  
Female Pirate: Ahoy there, big boy! Splice the mainbrace and wax me legs.  
  
Yugi: My, she has a great treasure chest.  
  
Joey: And plenty of booty.  
  
Yami: Who can it be?  
  
(female pirate rips off mask to reveal Ruki)  
  
Ruki: It's me! ^-^  
  
Yami: Oh, hi Ruki!  
  
Ruki: Care to join me for some sweet loving?  
  
Shade: He'll impale you in the foreplay. (Note: Inside joke)  
  
Jess: Not again with that bull crap.  
  
Yami: Ruki, I'm... I'm... I'm...  
  
Ruki: Spit it out!  
  
Yami: (sobs) I'm pregnant!  
  
(Goku and Veggeta [reincarnated times... forgot] walk in, argueing)  
  
Goku: I have the biggest balls! Energy balls!  
  
Veggeta: Quiet Kakarot! My balls are bigger! Bigger then thou!  
  
Ruki: Quiet! Me and Yami are talking! (turns to Yami) So, am I the... father? That sounds wierd.  
  
Yami: I guess so. But one question, Shade.  
  
Shade: I'm busy. (continues counting profits from the sale of all the Shade Wolf fics to Nelvana)  
  
Yami: You're a true artist Shade.  
  
Yugi: I love you, Tea.  
  
Tea: I prefer Yami.  
  
Ruki: Then we will fight, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon style!  
  
(they fly through the air, finally reaching each other and fighting it out)  
  
Tea: Hi yom gin janya fu! (Note: I know no chinese. So don't blame me for any bad, horribly spelled or non-existent words)  
  
Yugi: Lets translate for them!  
  
Yami: I'll do Tea, Yugi does Ruki! That ok, Shade?  
  
Shade: Jesus Yami, I said I was busy. (continues counting money)  
  
Yami: Time to translate...  
  
Tea: Junyen ko misaki ugi!  
  
Yami: (translating) I know no fear!  
  
Ruki: Jenya hikari sanjuro!  
  
Yugi: All your base are belong to us!  
  
Tea: (dodges Rukis kick) Oh, mi chan so?  
  
Yami: I can smell your brains!  
  
Ruki: (looks angry) Fuusigu yam yam jiz tan...  
  
Yugi: Take me here, under the pool table!  
  
(everyone looks at Yugi)  
  
Ruki: Thats it. That was a crap idea. Nice work Shade.  
  
Shade: Huh? Oh well. (keeps on counting money)  
  
Bakura: Why do I have such a little part in these fics?  
  
Rex: Me too!  
  
Weevil: Me three!  
  
Yami: Well, Bakura is getting married to me, Rex is gay, and Weevil was eaten by rabid Pikachus thirsting for amish blood.  
  
Ruki: And me?  
  
Yami: You're a hot asian fic writer. I love your work, and you can't be in this fic all the time.  
  
Ruki: I'm not hot... (blushes)  
  
Yami: Yes you are. And another thing, if I'm pregnant, where the hell will the baby come out? Don't make no-  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Shade: Had to cut him out. Ok, read and review! Will this monster fic ever end? 


	27. Spiky Norman

Shade: Good episode, but even better is my new catchphrase! Yes, it's:  
Everytime you feel small and insecure, just remember how amazingly unlikely is your birth. And pray there's intelligent life  
somewhere in space because there's bugger all down here on earth.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh,  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Yugi: What the hell were we doing last episode?  
  
Yami: I was pregnant!  
  
Tea: Oh yeah! Dammit Shade, come up with something not parodied from an Arnold Schwartenegger movie!  
  
Shade: Who is your daddy and what does he do?  
  
Bakura: I have no father!  
  
Yugi: My parents are never mentioned in the anime.  
  
Grampa: I'm old and have a hairy butt!  
  
(Mai walks in)  
  
Yugi: Hey Mai.  
  
Joey: Hello Mai!  
  
Mai: Shutup or I'll burn you all down now!!!  
  
Yami: O..........K...  
  
Mai: Sorry, I've just been diagnosed as "criminally insane".  
  
Bakura: (rolls his eyes) Gee, really? Never thought- (Mai grabs his throat)  
  
Mai: Scream for me pretty boy...  
  
Bakura: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!  
  
Mai: Thanks ^-^ !  
  
(enter a cute little armadillo)  
  
Yugi: Weren't you the one that was put down my pants?  
  
Armadillo: =^o^=  
  
Tea: Awwww! It's so cute!  
  
Yugi: My genitals were bruised for three weeks!!!  
  
Tea: So? I can be self-sufficent.  
  
Yami: I'm getting hard just thinking about that...  
  
Mai: Joey can't bring it up some nights, thats why I fall back on... Seto and Silent Mokuba...  
  
Joey: YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THOSE DRUGGIES?!  
  
Seto: Damn, she was to fine!  
  
(that little blonde girl who has the teddy bear enters)  
  
Girl: I've just come back from an asylum!  
  
Yami: I trust you made some (looks knowingly at the camera) friends?  
  
Girl: Yep! We had some fun, didn't we teddy? (hugs teddy)  
  
Yugi: Thats gross.  
  
Yami: Not for me!  
  
Yugi: Petafile.  
  
Yami: Thats me!!!  
  
Joey: Goddamn... Seto! It's time to have a duel!  
  
Seto: Ok! (pulls out a gun and shoots Joey)  
  
Mai: JOEY!!!  
  
Tea: JOEY!!!  
  
Yami: Joey!  
  
Yugi: YES!!! I mean... Joey!  
  
(Joey is lifeless on the floor)  
  
Seto: Umm... oops? Heh heh heh... heh heh heh...  
  
Yugi: (holding back tears) You killed my best friend! Now its your turn to die!  
  
Seto: You know, I have the strangest feeling of deja vu... (pulls out a gun and shoots Joey)  
  
Mai: JOEY!!!  
  
Tea: JOEY!!!  
  
Yami: Joey!  
  
Yugi: YES!!! I mean... Joey!  
  
(Joey is lifeless on the floor)  
  
Seto: Umm... oops? Heh heh heh... heh heh heh...  
  
Yugi: (holding back tears) You killed my best friend! Now its your turn to die!  
  
Seto: You know, I have the strangest feeling of deja vu... (pulls out a gun and shoots Joey)  
  
Mai: JOEY!!!  
  
Tea: JOEY!!!  
  
Yami: Joey!  
  
Yugi: YES!!! I mean... Joey!  
  
(Joey is lifeless on the floor)  
  
Seto: Umm... oops? Heh heh heh... heh heh heh...  
  
Yugi: (holding back tears) You killed my best friend! Now its your turn to die!  
  
Seto: You know, I have the strangest feeling of deja vu... (pulls out a gun and shoots Joey)  
  
Yugi: You know, I have a feeling of deja vu too!  
  
Mai: How many times have I screamed Joey?  
  
Joey: (gasping for breath) Yu... Yugi...  
  
Yugi: What is it old friend?  
  
Joey: I have... have to tell you something...  
  
Yugi: What?  
  
Joey: My name is... is actually Dimsdale...  
  
Yugi: Huh?  
  
Joey: Tell... Spiky Norman... I'm sorry... (stops breathing)  
  
Yugi: Spiky Norman?  
  
Mai: A giant hedgehog. Sometimes he was only 5ft long, but when Joey was really depressed he could be up to 800 metres long.  
  
Yugi: How nice... (fade out to a picture of the empire state building. A 800 metre hedgehog pops out from behind)  
  
Spiky Norman: Dimsdale!  
  
(fade out to the pyramids at giza. Spiky Norman pops out from behind)  
  
Spiky Norman: Dimsdale...  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Shade: Gotta love Spiky Norman... also please read and review. If you don't, then I can't continue my fics. 


	28. Funniest Bit Is The End Joke

Shade: I want love... just a different kind. I want love won't break out, won't break me in, won't break me up, I want love,  
but that don't mean a thing, I want love, yeah I want love...  
  
Disclaimer: You read it last time, ya bastards.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(while Joey is dead on the ground, Fade walks in)  
  
Fade: Is Joey already dead?! Dammit, I guess I won't be needing these anymore... (throws two pistols on the ground near Joey  
and starts walking off)  
  
Yugi: You were gonna kill Joey?  
  
(no one notices Joeys hands slowly grabbing the guns)  
  
Fade: (back turned to them all) What can I say? His hair is just plain stupid.  
  
(Joey bounces up and aims the pistols at Fade)  
  
Fade: The fuc...  
  
Joey: (smiles) Yippy kai yay, mother f*cker. (fires pistols at Fade, but Fade dodges them)  
  
Fade: The hell?!  
  
(a duck walks in)  
  
Joey: (aims at duck) Yippy kai yay, mother ducker. (fires at duck, and the duck is toasted)  
  
Yugi: Joey, calm down.  
  
Joey: (looks at Yugi) Grr...  
  
Micheal Muttiah: Thats just not cricket.  
  
Micheal Chau: So, Yugi, played any good games lately?  
  
San: (snaps Yami's boner)  
  
Yami: ARGH!  
  
San: (smiles) Thats ok, I asian!  
  
Shade: Snootchie bootchie noochies!  
  
Fade: Show ya moves!  
  
Ryan Fisher: There is only way I have not f*cked Kate- Mission Impossible.  
  
Jason Patel: Whats the difference between parsley and pubic hair? Nothing, you push both aside to keep on eating.  
  
(everyone is looking at Shade and their school chums)  
  
Shade: What? We're having a guys night!  
  
Ryan: What am I doing here?! I have better things to do, like hit on Jess!  
  
Shade: You're a dead man. (they start bashing the crap out of each other)  
  
Others: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!  
  
Jerry Springer: Tonight on Jerry Springer- Guys Who Wanna Hit On Other Guys Girlfriends.  
  
(Fade walks up to Jerry and punches his jaw bone out of his head)  
  
Jerry: F*CK!!! (runs off, grabbing his jaw bone en-route)  
  
Tea: Shade seems to be bringing in his personal life into the fics more often.  
  
Joey: Can't touch this, nah, nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah, can't touch this.  
  
Shade: Let's go surfing.  
  
(camera goes to Yugi and Yami on some surfboards, Yugi just wearing board shorts, Yami wearing wetsuit)  
  
Yugi: Mate, I'm f*cking freezing out here.  
  
Yami: Should've worn ya wetsuit.  
  
Yugi: Mate, I know I should've worn me wetsuit! Keeps ya toasty warm.  
  
Yami: Hold on mate. (starts pissing in his wetsuit) Oh yeah... nice and warm.  
  
Yugi: Mate, pissing in ya wetsuit attracts sharks!  
  
Yami: I know mate.  
  
Yugi: What, you know that pissing in ya wetsuit attracts sharks, or that pissing in ya wetsuit keeps ya warm?  
  
Yami: I know that it attracts sharks, mate, but I ain't worried.  
  
Yugi: Why not mate?  
  
Yami: 'Cause last night I couldn't find the toilet so I pissed all over your board.  
  
Yugi: Mate!  
  
(camera goes back to the guys in the studio)  
  
Tea: Why wasn't I in that?  
  
Yugi: Babe, you're always in my head taking off your clothes.  
  
Tea: Yugi!  
  
Yami: (kneels before Mai) Mai, will you do the honour of bonking my brains out.  
  
Mai: I charge $100 an hour. No kissing, $50 extra for blowjobs, or you giving me oral.  
  
Yami: Shade! Can you summon some money for me?  
  
Shade: (puts on Ascots costume from Magic Knight Rayearth) MAKISHIMA MONEY SUMMONS! ($500 falls into Yamis hands)  
  
Yami: Sweet! With this I can get... three hours and four blowjobs!  
  
Mai: Mmm, tasty. (they walk into the back room)  
  
(Avril Lavigne walks in, audience moans)  
  
Shade: Shutup, this is payback for not reviewing! Shes in ALL my fics this week! MWHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Avril: (looks at audience)  
He's just a boy (looks at Shade, Jess gets mad)  
And I'm just a girl  
Can I make it any more obvious- (she gets knocked out by Jess)  
  
Jess: He's MINE! (calls the Iraq government, and they come along and shoot her to the sun)  
  
Yugi: Jesus!  
  
Jess: She should've known... (eyes go all scary) Don't... fuck... with Jessica... Maunder...! Now, let me finish off...  
We are in love  
Haven't you heard  
How we rock each other's world (runs over and kisses Shade)  
  
Yugi: (looks at Tea)  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let''s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
  
Tea: Mmm mmm, sounds good. (they go off)  
  
(next morning, Shade and Fade are sitting with their coffee in the morning)  
  
Fade: Heard you and Jess last night. (sips coffee) So what happened?  
  
Shade: Well, (sips coffee) I asked if we could do it doggy style.  
  
Fade: (spits out coffee) Did she f*cking break it up with you?  
  
Shade: Nope... (takes a drink of coffee) We did it doggy style.  
  
Fade: No way! What happened?!  
  
Shade: I sat up and begged, she rolled over and played dead.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Shade: That end joke wasn't half bad! Read and review! And you get a special suprise if you have the following word in your  
review: cumquat. 


	29. Pie Day!

Shade: Ah, good ol' Yami Ball. The series that kinda hit off.  
  
Code:  
....: thinking  
  
Disclaimer: Read other episodes.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(Kitchen. Yugi is sitting on a stool, eating cereal. Tea walks up, puts a muffin and a glass of orange juice on the table and sits on her own stool)  
  
Tea: Yummy! (eats her muffin)  
  
(phone rings)  
  
Tea: I'll get it. (gets off stool and puts a pie on the table) Now Yugi, don't you eat this pie!  
  
Yugi: (looks at Tea) What do you take me for?  
  
(Tea walks off)  
  
Yugi: Heh heh... I have self control like she wouldn't believe...  
  
(looks at cereal bowl)  
  
Yugi: I don't need that pie... I'm perfectly fine with my cereal... Yep... me and my cereal... I don't need that pie...  
  
(looks at pie)  
  
Yugi: With it's soft, flakey crust... (smiles) and it's blueberry centre... and it's-  
  
(looks away from pie)  
  
Yugi: NO!   
  
(Yugi doesn't notice that his hand is moving towards the pie.)  
  
Yugi: Huh? (notices his hand moving towards pie.) Wait! No! (Yugi grabs hand and pulls it away, knocking his cereal bowl over at same time) Bad hand! Stay!  
  
(Yugi relaxes)  
  
Yugi: Well, that was close. But what I'd tell ya? Self control. (looks up and down) Yeah, I'll just think about something else... Ok, make the thought bubble appear  
  
(a thought bubble appears over his head, with a monkey in it)  
  
Yugi: Oh, what have we got here? Oh! It's a monkey! (the monkey sits down and picks its toes) Well, it's a monkey, but it's not very interesting. Wait, I know! STAR WARS MONKEY!  
  
(the monkey now wears Luke Skywalkers outfit and carries a light sabre. Several lasers fly for it, and it deflects them all)  
  
Yugi: Heh...  
  
(a duck wearing Darth Vaders suit flys down and chops off the monkeys hand)  
  
Duck: Obi-Wan never told you about your father...  
  
Monkey: He told me you killed my father!  
  
Duck: No, Luke. I am your father!  
  
Monkey: No! Thats impossible!  
  
Duck: Search your heart, you know it to be true.  
  
Monkey: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (suddenly sits down and eats a pie)  
  
(Yugi shakes his head, and the thought bubble goes away)  
  
Yugi: Ok... that was really wierd... (he grabs his stomach) Oh... soooo huuungry... (starts leaning towards pie) But... can't... eat... delicous... baked... good...  
  
(Yugi is now leaning back so much he is about to fall)  
  
Yugi: This can't be good. AHHHHHHHHHHH! (falls off stool)  
  
(Jaws theme plays)  
  
Yugi: (hair is circling the pie)  
  
(Yugi rises up and is about to attack the pie when...)  
  
Tea: You're not eating the pie, are you?  
  
Yugi: Nuh huh.  
  
Tea: Ok, I'll be back in a minute!  
  
Yugi: Uh huh!  
  
(Yugi gets back on stool, and turns on radio)  
  
Radio:  
When you walk away  
You don't hear me say  
Pleeeeaaaasseee... oh baaaby.  
Don't go  
Simple and clean is the way- (cuts off)  
  
Radio: We interrupt this catchy pop song to bring you a special report. The local pie factory downtown... Has exploded. Dozens injured, BUT! It is raining pie. And everybody is happy, especially me. The mayor has a few words to say about this delicous event.  
  
Mayor: I hear by declare this day to be... PIE DAY!  
  
Yugi: It was just a coincidence, don't panic...  
  
Radio: Recent studies have shown that if you eat a pie a day, you will have a 5% increase... OF YUUUMMY!  
  
Yugi: Don't think about pie, Don't think about pie, Don't think about pie...  
  
(creepy music plays, and Tea's head, his head, and the mayors head float around him)  
  
Tea: (echoing) Don't you eat this pie!  
  
Yugi: (echoing) Self control...  
  
Mayor: (echoing) Pie Day!  
  
Tea: (echoing) Don't you eat this pie!  
  
Yugi: (echoing) Self control...  
  
Mayor: (echoing) Pie Day!  
  
(Lenny's head pops up)  
  
Lenny: (echoing) Dental plan!  
  
(creepy music ends, heads disappear)  
  
Voice: Greetings Yugi!  
  
Yugi: Who are you?!  
  
Voice: I am the pie.  
  
Yugi: No you're not.  
  
Pie: Yes I am.  
  
Yugi: Ahhh! (ducks behind table) What do you want from me?  
  
Pie: I have one simple request from you Yugi... I want you... to eat me.  
  
Yugi: No, I can't give into temptation... (gets up) Besides, Tea said not to. She'll get mad!  
  
Pie: Go ahead, Yugi. I'm so delicous! Look at me!  
  
Yugi: (closes eyes) No... I can't do it!  
  
Pie: Meh, that's okay. I bet you're not man enough to handle me you little mamma's boy!  
  
Yugi: (opens eyes) What'd you say? Say that again.  
  
Pie: Normally I would, but I'm afraid I would overload your little pea brian mind!  
  
Yugi: (gets mad) You take that back!  
  
Pie: EAT ME!!!  
  
Yugi: Thats it... You're going down pie! (picks up a sword) Prepare yourself... (swings sword around) Gladiator! (dives on pie.)  
  
(5 minutes later, blueberry stains are on the walls, a plant is on fire, the pie is gone and Yugi has blue all over his mouth. Tea walks in...)  
  
Tea: (looks at where pie should be) What the crap?! What happened here?  
  
Yugi: (looks up from his cereal bowl) I'm not gonna deny it, I ate the pie.  
  
Tea: You better have a good explanation for this young man.  
  
(Yugi pulls out a packet of Mentos and winks. Tea gives him the thumbs-up)  
  
Singers: Fresh goes better, Mentos freshness, fresh goes better with Mentos, fresh and full of life!  
  
Voice Over: Mentos, the fresh maker!  
  
Shade: CUT!!! That's a wrap, people.  
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Shade: Did you like? Read and review! 


End file.
